Living Epistles

Big Questions & Another Reason

2012-01-31T14:29:00.001-06:00

The fears set in for him so young. Tears in his voice, he asks us, "What if our Skidamarink gets very, very sick? What if he can't get better? What if he gets so hurt he can't be fixed and we lose him? I would be so sad if I lost my brother." He's concerned about the hole in the basement where the sump pump sits. Skid might fall in it. "You can fix it, Dad. So Skid and our baby don't get hurt."

He follows up his worries with the hope: "If Skid couldn't get better he would go to heaven and Jesus would give him a new body. But I would miss him."

My momma says he gets it from me - the always thinking serious thoughts. He and I were both old before our time. "You were 18 when you were 2," she tells me. Little child with grown-up questions.

Grandpa speaks words that feel like prophecy. He talks about our sweet little boy and his big questions, big faith, big understanding. He says he's special. He can see that God has big plans for our Cap. He is different. Grandpa says there is a reason our little guy is in such a hurry to grow up. He says this boy needs to grow up fast. Grandpa can't tell us why, but he feels this burden to tell us that there is a reason our little man will need such big faith. He exhorts us to tend this plant carefully so his roots will grow deep. He'll need deep, deep roots.

My mother's heart worries. Why will he need deep roots? Grandpa can't see it, but he feels there is something coming and I'm absolutely terrified of the storms that might be on the horizon. I want deep roots for him, but I would prefer him to be safe - to have a hold on the anchor but never face a storm that requires its use.

It's been a year since Grandpa called us to him, sat us down and spoke those words. I can't ignore them. They make me wonder, what do I need to give a boy like this? A boy with such big questions, such big fears, such big understanding? Is it a gift of time? Extra time to sit and grapple with the questions and the fears? Extra time to play so he can stay young and have rest and enjoy life without fears and questions always pulling? Extra time to take chances and be bold and strong and courageous so that he doesn't let the fears overwhelm? Extra time to ask questions of us and of God?

It's so clear that growing those roots is his most important work right now and I need to give him all the time he needs to grow them.

Seeing the Glory

2012-01-30T13:24:00.000-06:00

And all of us, with unveiled faces, seeing the glory of the Lord as though reflected in a mirror, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord, the Spirit.

- 2 Corinthians 3:18

In giving thanks, what are we doing but stopping to see the glory of God that is evidenced all around us. As we stop to notice the work of God around us and to offer up our thankgiving and wonder doesn't he transform us? Our gift of thanks to him, his gift of new life to us.

Thank you, God, for...

68-112

113. first seeds sprouting.

114. Cap talking to his baby sister - tickling my tummy as he talks through me.

115. holey-kneed jeans - the evidence of hard play.

116. provision for new jeans when we need them.

117. food in the cabinets and that my family's cries of hunger are always met.

118. the gift of all we need and more.

119. Skid falling asleep in his great-grandma's lap.

120. the boys riding on my Grandpa's lap, making circles in the wheel-chair.

121. memories of riding on my Uncle's lap in his wheel-chair.

122. that growly voice Skid uses when he makes his toys talk.

123. all that time to pray for her while I sort and fold and paint for her.

124. the way they play together.

125. that he gets to build for her just like he built for them.

126. Cap so eager to help his Daddy build.

127. that all we have to do is "cry out to Jesus"

128. lessons in story-form - parables and children's books.

129. getting lost in 2 Corinthians and reading longer than I realized.

130. snoozing little boy.

131. crazy baby gymnastics - even when they prevent sleep.

132. freedom from worry about how he will learn.

133. confidence and, finally, a decision.

134. the way Skid says "too-mon-oh" instead of tomorrow.

135. extra time with my adorable nephew.

136. the delightful wonder of blanket forts.

137. the joy of listening to scripture as we drive.

138. beautiful, spring-like days at the end of January.

139. more peace when there is normally stress.

140. cuddling up and reading.

141. them running to grab more and more books.

142. the priviledge of having time to learn to read.

143. finding long-lost library books.

Reason #4: Learning Styles

2012-01-28T14:00:00.002-06:00

Everybody is a genius.

But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

- Albert Einstein

I'm pretty confident that if Cap goes to school, he will be a terror to his teachers. I've had almost two years of this experience to back me up. Even on the days when he's not causing general disruption, he doesn't do all of his work. The thing that bothers me most is that Cap seems to be a different child when he's at school. My sweet little guy is already planting flowers because we're going to have a baby girl and when she grows up she might want to get married and he wants to make sure she has plenty of flowers on her "married day". My boy insists on taking milk to the food pantry because somewhere there is a little boy who doesn't have a home to live in and he probably doesn't have any milk to drink. Yet every progress report that has come home from school has noted that he does not consider the needs of others.

I'm pretty sure the reason for this disconnect has a lot to do with his learning styles. I think there is a lot of truth in Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences. It's pretty clear to me that Cap is a logical-mathematical, bodily-kinethetic & interpersonal learner. While the logical learners tend to do pretty well in school, bodily-kinethetic & interpersonal learners often struggle. Bodily-kinethetic learners use their bodies to learn. Sit Cap at a table and tell him not to move and he's not going to learn much. Give him freedom to tap his fingers, lay on the floor, walk around the room and he keys in. In the same way, tell the little social learner to quietly work on a page and he'll be daydreaming in a minute. Give him the chance to talk with others, ask questions and converse about the subject and he's eager to learn.

The trouble is that letting kids wander around and talk freely is a recipe for disaster in a classroom. It's pretty hard to manage a large group of kids when they are given these freedoms. So the kids who learn best in these ways have to find other ways to adapt. In Cap's case his movement and social inclinations have found the outlet of disruption. On my visits to his class, it seems to me that Cap often assumes the role of class clown. He's always looking to get a laugh out of his friends. His need to explore his surrounding with movement and conversation is being expressed in ways that are inappropriate for a classroom setting and he gets in trouble. A lot.

And the preschool years are the most movement and social oriented time of traditional education. I tremble to consider what would be in store for us as Cap got further and further along in an increasingly rigid school structure. Considering his particular interests and his learning styles together makes me think we would be doing his potential teachers a favor by letting Cap learn at home. ;) At home he can have the freedom to move around and talk with a variety of people about his questions and hypotheses. I'm excited about the possibility (and the challenge) of helping my little guy learn in ways that are in line with the unique individual God created him to be, rather than trying to fit him into a system where he is going to feel like a fish trying to climb a tree.

Reason #3 Interest-Led Learning

2012-01-27T14:25:00.000-06:00

"Mom, do you see this?" It's what I heard over and over again for the entirety of an hour as we were having dinner at my grandparents' house one evening. Cap finished his dinner early and was sitting in the living room watching the Science Channel show, How It's Made. For an entire hour my four-year-old guy sat completely mesmerized by the process of building some portion of an airplane. He has since decided that he is going to become an aerospace engineer. Of course, he'll get his pilot license as well because what fun would designing aircraft be if you can't fly it yourself?

And then the other day we were sitting in the bathroom, waiting on the potty-training Skidamarink. Cap was sitting underneath the sink trying to figure out the mechanics of the plumbing. For a good 15-20 minutes. He's always wanting to know how things work. I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time before I start discovering random disassembled tools and electronics around the house.

We started calling him our little engineer about a year ago. He got a Buzz Lightyear toy for Christmas. But it didn't have wings. It had karate-chop action instead. He really wanted a flying Buzz and would not accept my advice that he learn to be happy with what he had - Buzz was going to fly. So, he rigged up a contraption involving our ironing board, a cabinet door and some thin elastic that enabled Buzz to hang suspended in midair.

I'm pretty sure most kids learn the most when they are interested in what they are learning. It is certainly true in Cap's case. I spent last school year frustrated that we couldn't get Cap to want to hold a pencil or a crayon. But when he got interested in reading he started picking up the writing utensils on his own. Lots of people marvel that he knows the difference between carnivores, herbivores and omnivores. He's not a genius, he's just interested. He wants to know things like why our dogs' teeth look different from his. So, we spend a good amount of time finding answers together.

Today, when I picked Cap up from school I had an interesting conversation with his teacher. He didn't want to do his worksheets today. It's something he's struggled with before, regularly missing out on playtime because he doesn't want to complete the worksheets. She said unless it's something he's interested in, he just doesn't want to do it. He reasoned that he didn't need to do the worksheet because he already knew the material. She warned me that he's going to have a really hard time in kindergarten next year.

None of this was news to me, but it was interesting to hear her say it. I can see both sides of this problem. It's important to learn that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do and to do those things with a good attitude. Also, there are certain things, like learning to write letters, that just have to be practiced. Repetition is necessary. Even though Cap may know the material already, he still has the work of training those muscles for the fine-motor task of writing.

On Cap's side, he does things he doesn't want to do all the time. Granted, he doesn't always have the most willing attitude when he has to do something he doesn't like, but who among us does? And there are other ways to practice that are more palatable to him. He struggles with a paper full of letter k's that he has to copy over and over, but is almost always eager to write words. A page full of a single letters to copy is a physical exercise that doesn't challenge his brain. Adjusting the exercise to writing words adds a mental challenge that engages him.

I don't believe that Cap is smarter than the average kid, but I do believe he is a bright, capable child with specific talents and inclinations that need to be developed. I have a hard time justifying the idea of a child who is eager to learn having a hard time in kindergarten. He won't struggle because he's incapable of learning the material. He will struggle because he won't be challenged in the right ways.

The choice to me seems clear. I can send my boy to kindergarten and expect a kid who is going to be a challenge to the teacher, a disruption in the classroom and a very disinterested student. Or, I can keep my little man home and nurture those talents and inclinations in a learning environment that is specifically fitted to his needs and can provide him with the right level of challenge.

Just to be clear, I am not in any way suggesting that my son's teacher isn't doing a good job or that kindergarten teachers are incompetent to teach Cap. I'm extremely grateful for the teachers Cap has had and for the majority of the teachers I encountered in my own school days. They are remarkable individuals! What I am saying is that there are certain limits to teaching a large group of students at one time that will almost definitely create problems for my little learner.

Over and Over Again

2012-01-23T15:17:00.000-06:00

This list is so repetitious. Time and again I find myself writing the same thanks. Nearly every morning those cold little toes climb into bed with us and I can't help but be thankful. Each time I look out my windows I find the beauty staggering and I must give thanks.

The thing is, I know that the day will come when those little ones won't come running and clambering into our bed. In a few months tall rows of corn will prevent us seeing for miles. I know there will be a time when the gifts I receive in this season will come to an end. I am confident that they will be replaced by other gifts - other glimpses of God's goodness specific to the seasons that lay ahead. Still, it's bittersweet to think that these days won't last forever.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10b

I have to wonder if this practice of thanksgiving isn't part of the key to recieving that full measure of life. Maybe, in part Jesus gives us life abundant and joy to the full when he awakens us to the beauty of the moment and inspires the giving of thanks. We stop to fully recieve the gift, to express gratitude for each evidence of God's abundant love for us. And maybe it's a little more ok, a little less bittersweet to realize that this too - even these perfect little moments - will pass, because by stopping to offer back our thanks we experience so much more of the gift than if we just let the moment pass. And because we know with each sign of God's love that gifts beyond imagine are heading our way.

Thank you, God, for...

1-67

68. The water dripping like diamonds in the sun from the leaky faucet.

69. A husband who points out leaky faucet diamonds to me.

70. Beautiful country views out of every window.

71. Boys climbing in bed in the morning to cuddle.

72. Such soft little cheeks to nuzzle & kiss.

73. Fog rolling over empty fields.

74. Seriously - these views! Breathtaking beauty with every glimpse out the window.

75. Plans for Spring and seed cataloges.

76. Kisses on top of her two-week-old head - my newborn niece.

77. The cradle in our room, full of sweet little things for our newest little love.

78. Brothers giving hugs.

79. Cap's eyes sparkling as he laughs.

80. Skidamarink just wanting to sit together.

81. The chance to wash the tomato soup from their faces - everyday priviledge.

82. Time to sit and talk at the table.

83. An early morning conversation with my Grandpa.

84. Sunlight slanting across the yard.

85. Time alone to plan for my loves.

86. A little man so happy to see me.

87. Chasing him to wash the sticky face and collapsing in giggles.

88. Cap catching me by surprise from his hiding place and even more giggles.

89. Pink, purple, blue & white mingled in the sky.

90. That they come to me for comfort.

91. The joy of being held close.

92. That I am loved.

93. My amazing Grandmother.

94. Rest at the end of the day when all the work is done.

95. Good conversations with good friends.

96. Car ride conversation.

97. The reminder that Jesus is all we need.

98. Stopping to read words I normally would skim.

99. Time spent just with Skid.

100. A boy who seeks out ways to bless others.

101. Work to do in preparation for our baby girl.

102. Jabs in the ribs reminding me she's here.

103. That he takes care of me when I don't feel well.

104. Him paying attention to things he doesn't care about just to bless me.

105. The reminder that your generosity knows no limits - we will always have more than enough.

106. His prayers for his brother's health and safety.

107. His reliance on the truth of the resurrection.

108. That I can give thanks over and over for the exact same things.

109. That our boys are such good friends.

110. The overwhelming excitement that she will be here so soon - just 13 more weeks!

111. The scratchy-soft feling of my great-great-grandma's blanket.

112. A warm and cozy bed.

A Thankful Heart is a Happy Heart

2012-01-09T10:38:00.000-06:00

The song from Madame Blueberry is running through my head right now. It makes sense. A thankful heart is a happy heart. When we stop to realize all we have to be thankful for, it's hard to grumble. And the truth is that in Christ we are called to give thanks in all things. (Ephesians 5:20) I've often heard a very good friend a pastor say that the most important thing we can say to God is "Thank you!"

A few months ago I ran across a book that I felt compelled to read. One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp was not quite what I was expecting. I was ready for a light read that made me think a little, but instead I found words that, within just a few pages, had me in tears. Stories of hurt and anguish and how giving thanks in all circumstances heals wounds and brings us close to God. I knew that "every good and perfect gift is from above" (James 1:17) and I see a whole lot of the good mixed in with the ugly of this world. I know that the little beauties of daily life are gifts from a loving God. What I didn't stop to consider was that I could say thank you for each of them. What would it look like if I stopped to really notice the evidence of God's love that shines all around me in the gifts he has given? What would change in me if I stopped to give thanks particularly in those moments when I least felt like giving thanks? If I thanked God for blessings while boys are knocking each other down and when we are running late and when everything seems to be going wrong?

So, I took up Ann's challenge. I'm keeping my list. Honestly, most of my thanks don't get written down in my book (largely because I'm a weirdo about actually writing things down. I want my book to be pretty and my writing to be neat and to always use the exact same pen, so my journal stays in one place and gets added to when I'm close to it.) I started writing my thanks sometime in late October. Here is the beginning to my list of thanks:

Thank you, God, for...
1. Little boy feet pounding down wooden stairs.
2. Toes fresh from the bath that are clean enough to kiss.
3. Skidamarink holding me tight and tickling my neck with his words: "You are the best mom!"
4. Fuzzy, warm slippers and steaming cups of tea.
5. Holy, indecipherable prayers from two-year-old lips.
6. Breakfast table worship songs.
7. The way bad memories can turn good.
8. Brothers holding hands.
9. Blonde heads in my lap.
10. Cap helping Skid put on socks and shoes.
11. Grandparents.
12. The bright colors of Fall.
13. Little guys dressed as farmers.
14. Eyes the same color as his Daddy's.
15. Strong arms.
16. Early morning cuddle time.
17. "I love you" ' s all around.
18. Long mornings cuddling in pajamas.
19. Baby kicks.
20. The chance to bless others.
21. How hard he works for us.
22. Everyday Easters and four-year-old proclamations that "He is risen!"
23. Roads that take us to loved ones.
24. All the shades of green and brown and the way dirt and decaying plant matter can be beautiful.
25. Morning sickness and back pain and other signs of new life.
26. Happy noise.
27. Generosity of friends.
28. Food on our table.
29. Puffy white on a field of blue.
30. That either way we'll have a home. (When we weren't sure if our new home purchase was going to happen or not.)
31. Every moment on the computer means that he doesn't have to be far from home. (My husband is a seminary student taking online classes.)
32. That you are with us in the waiting.
33. Smiling eyes.
34. The sound of baby's heart.
35. The way even the smallest can bless.
36. Running water.
37. That I get to share the daylight with my kids.
38. That he takes care of the mouse traps.
39. A warm home and hot drinks.
40. Kids wearing halloween costumes in Advent.
41. Grace to forgive when I don't want to give thanks.
42. Christmas lights.
43. Snuggling in front of the tree.
44. Grace to show me my sins.
45. The ability to give.
46. Wrapping presents.
47. A day all together.
48. Your perfect timing.
49. Employment.
50. Our little girl!
51. Hot chocolate mustaches.
52. Baking cookies with my boys.
53. That they are still little for now.
54. Little boy excitement for Christmas traditions.
55. Conversations in the car.
56. That he's willing to come all that way every night. (When Jeff had to travel for work.)
57. Lessons about waiting.
58. For the gentle way You teach through children.
59. Encouraging words.
60. Harsh words in scripture - full of love.
61. Heavy responsibilities - living epistles.
62. The knowledge that Jesus carries my load - I can't, but he can.
63. Pizza - so I can rest and have a minute to recoop.
64. Sunrise over harvested fields seen through big picture windows.
65. Little boys who want to be my heroes.
66. The excitement of little boys' first "I did it!" 's.
67. Coming home to a house full of love.

Letter Xx

2012-01-08T19:27:00.000-06:00

Another post from the draft folder. I think I kept is as a draft because I was going to add pictures, but I never did. At this point I think I'll go ahead and post so the record of what we did is visible even if there are no pretty pictures. This was our last week of our homeschool experiment before the pre-school year began. I contemplated keeping up with these materials, but decided to spare Cap and let his at-home learning be unstructured while he was in school.

We are currently using a combination of You Can Read and Raising Rockstars, plus whatever else we stumble across. :)

Captain Silly Wiggles is currently 4 years & 1 month old.

Our learning this week was centered around Matthew 18:3:

eXcept you be converted

and become as little children,

you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.

We spent lots of time talking about how we need to trust Jesus to take care of us just like little kids trust their parents to take care of them. We also talked about how it's not the good things we do that let us live in relationship and in eternity with God. Rather, our trust in him - our faith - is the most important thing.

Song: Jesus Loves the Little Children & Jesus Loves Me

Letter: Xx

Number: 7

Sight words: I, can, you, me, little

Sight reader: Jesus Loves Little Children

(The last page of the sight reader says, "Jesus loves me!" and has a picture of Cap. He loves reading it and his smile gets bigger and bigger as he nears the end of the book. :)

On Monday we...

1. ...did the Getting Ready for Xx worksheet.

2. ...worked on his cutting worksheet. He cut a diagonal line, pretending to make a bear sled down a snowy hill.

3. ...traced the Xx's on the RRSP worksheets. He flew through all of the pages making perfect X's. Improvement!

4. ...did the Color by Word YCR worksheet. He did this one without any prompting while I stepped out of the room. I was surprised to walk back in to see the page completed (though he didn't color the whole thing - just the words).

5. ...played sight word bingo. He didn't want to follow the rules of the game at first, preferring to mark any word he wanted rather than the words I was calling out. We took a short break and he came back excited to play. This is one of his favorites.

On Wednesday we...

1. ...worked on vocab cards. He put the paper on his desk and left the markers in the workbox. I asked him if he wanted to trace the Xs. He looked at me incredulously and said, "What do you want me to do, mom, color with my fingers?" Which made me laugh (he sounded so much like his dad) and we were off on a 10 minute silly spiral which ended in a game of tag.

2. ...took a looooong break and came back to our boxes after dinner and a whole lot of playing outside.

3. ...worked on our vocab cards. This time he dove right in without too much silliness. He traced the Xs. While he traced we said the words together and searched YouTube for a video on x-ray fish. Then he very carefully cut the cards apart.

4...put together the word puzzles.

5. ...wrote some words on the dry erase board. First I wrote the letters of his sight words in different orders and he erased each wrong word and read the correct word (anc, cna, can). Then I wrote all of the words he can read on the board and he erased the word as I called it out. We are working on and & can - he gets those two mixed up very regularly. Finally, he wanted a turn with the markers. He decided to draw a "pointy hat and a pony with it's head down".

6. ...did the trace the lines page. His marker was a car that was zooming down the road. I love that he's having fun and incorporating pretend play with something that, 2.5 months ago was completely frustrating for him.

7. ...did the RRSP craft. He was so proud of himself for cutting out a circle!

8. ...had a flashlight number scavenger hunt. I wrote numbers on sticky notes and stuck them on the wall and the window. He came in with his lantern and shined the light on the correct number. I got this idea from Totally Tots.

On Friday we...

1. ...colored the verse.

2. ...did the crazy fonts page.

3. ...built sight words with Duplo blocks.

4. ...wrote a story together.

5. ...played veterinarian with some homemade x-rays.

All of our printables this week came were developed by Carisa at 1+1+1=1. Visit her website for all kids of wonderful resources. You can find her letter Xx printables here and You Can Read Unit 2 here.

The cutting workbook we used is called I Can Cut by School Specialty Publishing.

Oh Boy! July 10-16

2012-01-08T19:22:00.000-06:00

I've been going through and editing some old posts tonight and I discovered this one in the drafts pile. Last July I thought it would be a good idea to write some blogs on the day-to-day happenings in our household. I thought I would title the posts "Oh Boy!". It seemed clever in that I was sure I was destined to be surrounded by boys all of my days. Now that our little girl is on the way, I guess I'll have to come up with a new name.

July 13: The highlight of today was root beer floats. It seems Captain Silly Wiggles has decided that root beer is a necessity following baseball. Accordingly, on our way home for practice he asked for root beer. We stopped at the store and let Cap figure out which bottle was the root beer (Me: "What two letters together make the sound oo?" Cap: "O" Me: "Can you find the root beer?" he grabbed it off the shelf, picked up some ice cream and we were off. Initially he wasn't very fond of the idea of ice cream in his root beer. He quickly decided it was ok. Skidamarink on the other hand was very upset when the root beer was gone but the ice cream remained. Cap brought a spoon and a crisis was averted.

Apparently Cap has observed that toads like to hide in the mud. Tonight he was playing with a toad in the backyard. When it was time to let the little guy go, Cap found a dirt clod and was chasing the toad around the yard trying to cover him up with the dirt clod.

July 14: Generally we had a rough day today. Captain Silly Wiggles woke up on the wrong side of the bed and was just grouchy all day long. (I need to find a copy of Alexander and the Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!) The one nice little segment of our day came when he sat down next to me and looked at the window. He found some birds and watched them for awhile - telling me all about robins and how they are blue with orange bellies. Then he said, "Mom, I wish we had a bird feeder." So we did some research together on homemade bird feeders, he picked out the one he liked best, and we headed to the store to buy some bird seed. A few hours later and we have two bird feeders in the trees and Cap went back to being grumpy. :P

I continue to be blown away by all of the spontaneous lessons. After a long nap, Cap woke up in a much better mood. He started talking about fires and I said, "What would you do if there was a fire?" He told me he would hide, so we spent some time talking about fire safety. We designated a safe spot, started working on a fire escape plan and talked about staying low to the ground, testing handles, and calling 911. We spent some time playing on www.firesafety.gov/kids. It's amazing how motivated kids can be to learn. So often, they just need some resourcing.

Scripture memorization

2012-01-08T19:16:00.000-06:00

I was not a big fan of scripture memorization during the years I worked in children's ministry. It wasn't that I had something against the idea of memorizing scripture. I just didn't feel like it was a good use of time. I had my kids for 1-3 hours per week. There was lots I was concerned about teaching them in that very short amount of time. The vast majority (with a few exceptions) of the kids in my program weren't receiving any Christian education at home. Many of my kids came to church on their own - their parents weren't involved at all. Some of the parents & guardians were verbally non-Christian. Others came on Sunday mornings, but didn't take their faith any further. Those who actively discipled their kids at home were certainly in the minority. To me, that meant that my limited time with these kids was vital. I wanted them thinking. I wanted to devote the time to learning whole stories more than snippets. I wanted them to have some time to play together and look for opportunities of living out and working through the values they were learning. I didn't like the idea of memorization because I anticipated the rote learning of words and phrases that would not likely inspire deeper reflection in their day to day surroundings. They would parrot the verse back to me and not likely think much of it again. Most of them didn't have guides at home to help them realize the important of the words in their day to day experiences. So we didn't memorize scripture.

I still work in a volunteer role in children's ministry and we still don't memorize scripture. Yet, Cap has lots of scripture memorized. He started on his own by learning God Rocks! songs. Now the preschool curriculum we are using is centered around a weekly memory verse. So, why am I ok with memorization now? Because it doesn't stop at memorization. He learns the verse and we talk about it. Often. He's learning to think critically about his environment through the lens of the Bible. I bring up the verses he has learned in different scenarios. He claims he can't do something and we talk about the implications of Philippians 4:13. I don't just respond by saying, "Remember, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" We stop and really talk about what the verse means. There are things he can't do. He can't fly without a plane. But, with faith we have the promise that Christ will empower us to do all that he calls us to do. We pray about it. When he's not sure of the right decision in a given situation, we discuss Matthew 5:16: which choice is a way of letting his light shine? In these discussions, I've got a newfound love for memorizing scripture.

Yet Another Option

2012-01-08T18:55:00.000-06:00

I am continually surprised by the number of educational options that are available. I've learned over the past few weeks that a few school districts in our area will allow home-schooled students to participate in school sports and that a few schools (even one public school) will allow homeschool students to enroll part time.

The Greatest Gift

2012-01-08T17:57:00.000-06:00

"Mom! Look! There's a present hanging on the tree!"

I hadn't really expected him to find it yet. It was tucked in the branches and I thought we'd have to help them hunt. I wrapped the gift the night before. The box holds the baby Jesus from the kids' nativity. On Christmas morning we'll look for that present first. We'll unwrap it and hear the story and play with the nativity.

I tell him, "That's a very special present. It's the greatest gift you can ever imagine."

His eyes grow wide with excitement and the knowledge of something I'm not sure I grasp to this day. "Mom, God must be in that box!"

I gave him a big smile and a big hug and we talked about how Jesus really is the best gift.

Later as I retold that story to his father, the tears filled my eyes. What wisdom from such a little one. This child has big hopes of toys and special blankets and flashlights. He knows what he wants and he is all eager anticipation to find out what's under that tree. Not a morning goes by that he doesn't check his stocking to see if it's been filled.

And yet, with all of the stuff he wants, he knows. He knows without blinking an eye that the greatest gift imaginable isn't that Batman cave he really wants or a Transformer. He doesn't pause for even a second before proclaiming that the greatest gift he can imagine is God himself - Emmanuel.

God, grant that I may gain that insight and that he will keep that knowledge close to his heart as he grows.

Grocery Store Encounters

2011-12-05T10:47:00.001-06:00

He spotted us the second we walked in the door and commented on my Skidamarink's white-blonde hair. He had hair that color when he was a boy. Now it's grey. The man approached us from his spot by the oranges, asking Skid, "What's wrong with your ear? Did you know there's something behind your ear?" He pulls a quarter out from behind my boy's head. Skidamarink smiles and says thank you as the man hands him the quarter. The man chats about how when he was a boy he would ride the bus into town and watch a movie and eat "a bag of corn" and ride the bus home for a quarter. "Not much you can do with a quarter these days." He smiles and chats for a few minutes more about white-blonde hair and quarters. Then he hits us with his news: "I have to go to a funeral today. My daughter's funeral. Paren't aren't supposed to live longer than their children." And before I can say a word to him, he turns and walks away. All I can do is pray for him, so I do.

When Cap asks me in desperation, "Mom, why am I staying 4 forever?!?" I understand why he is frustrated. He's in a hurry to grow up. He says he wants to marry his friend from school and have a baby of his own and have whiskers just like daddy. And I know it's frustrating to wait so long to grow - to feel like you can't do anything important. But, when I think of the man with the quarter in the grocery store I know how important 4 and 2 and all of those young years are to the world.

The man didn't do much more than glance at me. He didn't ask my name and didn't offer his. I wasn't the one he needed to talk to. There are some gifts that can only come from children. I know that on that particular day - likely the worst of his entire life - he recieved a blessing from my boy. Skidamarink brought a smile to that man's face. He gave him a gift of joy and a memory of happy days. I couldn't have done that. But my sweet little 2-year-old did. God's loving embrace through the smile of a little blonde-haired boy.

Packing Up Memories

2011-10-13T07:36:00.003-05:00

Just over two weeks and we'll be moving away from our home of the last 8 1/2 years. Not far, just across town. We'll send the boys to the same preschool, use the same doctors, frequent the same places. But still, we're moving and it breaks my heart.

I couldn't be more excited about our new place - a little old house out in the country with plenty of space for our 4+1 family to roam. We call it "the farm" to denote our dreams of all the adventures we'll have there. Still, I'm heart-broken. I don't want to leave.

I hear the words of what I think was John Wesley's story of his encounter with a Native American. The man asked, "If you Christians believe in eternal life, why do you build houses like you will live forever?" Those words keep floating through my mind and I'm horribly ashamed of myself. Why am I clinging to what I have now when the promise of what is to come is so much better?

I know why. It's the memories. I've called this place home longer than any other and as I look around at these walls, I see a store-house of memories.

This was the place we bought just before we were married. The place Jeff moved into with all of my stuff. The place I dreamed about coming home as a bride. This was the home we came to fresh from our honeymoon. Where we learned to be man and wife, crammed into one tiny room while the rest of the house was a chaos of reconstruction. This was the place where we worked to make everything perfect only to find soggy walls and leaky pipes. My grandpa helped Jeff to hang every board of drywall and every piece of wood in the living room floor months before the stroke that made him unable to work with wood again. It was here that I learned that Grandma was cancer-free and later that the cancer was back. It was here I returned in the early morning hours after her struggle was finally over. In this place I found comfort in sorrow - grief over loved ones lost and deep betrayal and shattered dreams. During the most painful days of my life, this place was my sanctuary.

And, oh! The joy! In the confines of these walls I found out I was going to be a mother. We planned and dreamed of our little love - making a space perfect for him. I paced the floors in giddy anticipation and numbing fear as I labored. And a few days later, we brought our little bundle home.

I remember a house awake in the middle of the night. Bouncing up and down stairs to soothe a cranky baby. This house saw all his firsts: first roll-over, first smile, first teeth, first steps, first owies. Now his firsts are bigger - learning to ride a bike, reading words all by himself, pouring his own glass of milk. How he has grown under this roof!

Two years later, this house saw all those baby firsts over again. A second time we learned we would be parents. A second time we planned and dreamed, now making our house perfect for two little boys. We brought our second little love home and again the house was awake at night. Again it witnessed baby cries and giggles. Here he has learned to roll and crawl and walk and talk. He has grown from an infant to an independent little man, sharing in our conversations and eager to learn to do it all himself.

This place has been full of the joy of two little boys - best friends who can't stand the thought of being apart. The stairs have been mountains to climb, the floors have been seas and jungles and deserts and fields. Vents have been bumpy roads and deep dark dungeons. The whole place has been alive with the laughter of tickle fights and chases. The bathroom has been saturated with splashes. Tears have been shed here of lessons hard-learned and squeals of delight have resounded at the first I-did-it's.

And there are countless other memories: chats with friends, birthday parties, bubble blowing, kiddie pools, cookie baking, cupcake stealing, and backyard fires.

Looking at the yard I see the careful arrangements of all our favorite plants: the Clematis that we inherited, the surprise lilies, grape vines, rhubarb and a vegetable garden, ivy and herbs, daisies and mums, the lilac bush my mom planted for my 21st birthday, the cosmos that Cap grew from seed this year, the blueberries, the apple tree and the plum tree and the river birch and the butterfly bush. Eight-and-a-half years of growth. My kids have picked flowers for me from those plants. They have run hard, barefoot in the grass. This place is full of memories.

But, they are my memories. Surely they stand apart from this place - this place which is really just a shell: wood and nails and various building materials fit together to provide a structure.

I think the thing that makes it hard to leave is that it is a reference point. I look at the garden out front and remember Jeff, Grandpa and I laying cloth, spreading rock and planting on our first wedding anniversary. I look at the corner of the living room and see my little man standing there shoulders slumped, learning a new lesson or remembering an old one. I look at the wall upstairs and picture Jeff painting I <3 you in green over white-primed walls. I see Christmas trees and Easter eggs. I hear the sounds of yesterday. And I wonder, without this place will I remember all of these little moments? Mostly insignificant, everyday occurrences filled with abundant joy. When we break ties with this place, will we lose a little of our tie to those memories?

As we pack up the contents of this house, those memories will be carefully packed as well. In this place they sat out on the shelves in plain sight - times past, but still connected to our surroundings. There I suspect they will stay boxed in the attic - something to rifle through on lazy days of storytelling with our children and each other. But they won't be sitting on the shelves and hanging on the walls. That place will have it's own stories, it's own adventures to display.

I can't wait to uncover the joys "the farm" will have to offer us. It too will know lots of firsts - even those wonderful baby firsts. But, in the meantime I have something to savor and a deep loss to face. I will grieve the surrender of this place. More than wood and shingles, it is the cover of my storybook - my fairytale. It will be difficult to close the first volume, even if it is to jump into the second.

I will treasure my last few days here: romp with the boys in the yard, race down the sidewalk to school, cross the street to Grandma and Grandpa's, meander down the road to the library. I'll drink in the nighttime rituals and the morning breakfasts and all the daily happenings. And then, with some tears and trepidation and excitement, I'll leave this wonderful place behind for something else wonderful. Trusting God to guide me through it all with the knowledge that it doesn't really matter where I am, because he will be with me.

Overwhelming Generosity

2011-10-01T12:18:00.001-05:00

Driving across town this morning, I passed a lot of rummage sales. Thinking about all of that stuff spread across all of those lawns led me down the path of thinking about our own stuff. As I mentally sifted through our possessions I noticed a common theme - generosity.

Just about everything we have was given to us. In fact, It doesn't take long at all to count the material possessions we have that we have actually purchased ourselves. Take the furniture for example. We bought a discount sofa set, a set of storage shelves, a small end table, a potty chair, 2 booster seats and an art desk (a Christmas present for Cap). Every single other piece of furniture was given to us. In our 27 (yikes) combined years of driving, we have purchased 1 vehicle. We have had 5 vehicles given to us. I think Jeff bought the computer he took with him to college. If he did that's the only time either of us has ever purchased one. And yet we've always had a computer at home. The trend continues to very nearly everything we own, with the only exceptions being the food in our pantry and my children's book obsession. Our cabinets are full of wedding presents and hand-me-downs. While we've bought some of our own clothing, many of them have come in the form of Christmas and birthday gifts.

It's incredibly overwhelming. It was all I could do to hold back the tears as I considered how incredibly blessed we've been. What's more, except for gifts we've received from wedding and baby registries I'm pretty sure we haven't asked for any of it. There have been times we have expressed a need and been knocked off our feet by the generosity of a family member or a friend who responded with a gift we never imagined. But most of the gifts we completely spontaneous, "Hey, do you want this ____?" kind of things.

Looking around our house, things are pretty eclectic. We've got oak and walnut and pine and particle board and I don't even know what else. Some of our furniture is very nice and other pieces are very well worn (mostly the stuff we bought). And yet, it makes our home beautiful. Not so much because of the aesthetic properties as the incredible testimony to the generosity of people and the blessings of God.

Reason #2 - Flexibility

2011-09-27T10:11:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm very often late. That's really hard for me to admit because it's probably the thing I like least about myself. I hate being late. I hate it so much that it is without a doubt the biggest stressor in my life. I've tried lots of different strategies, but even if I have the kids dressed and ready and all packed up for an outing hours early something will inevitably happen to throw a wrench in our plans and, despite all of my best efforts, we will be late.

When we are running late I am the worst version of myself. I get grouchy and overwhelmed and I go from the calm mommy to a growling monster. It's no fun.

Yesterday morning was growling monster day. Cap had school and due to a last minute potty break we were about 15 minutes late to school. Today is calm mommy day. We've spent the morning eating breakfast together around the table, reading a new Veggie Tales devotional Cap discovered and just chatting.

When I picture the potential mornings of sending all of our kiddos off to school, I don't envision mornings like this one. Instead I see growling monster mom and frustrated kids. That scares me. If the kids do go to school I will have precious little time with them. I really don't want those times to be stress-filled moments that we all dread. I'd much rather have the flexibility to spend our mornings enjoying each other as we go about the business of our day. (I'm much more productive on the mornings we don't have to rush out the door at 8.)

Being able to live a flexible lifestyle is a major reason that homeschooling appeals to me - and not just as it pertains to morning routines. I think there is a lot of wisdom in Phil Vischer's words in his book, Me, Myself & Bob:

"If I am a Christian - if I have given Christ lordship of my life - where I am in five years is none of my business. Where I am in twenty years is none of my business. Where I am tomorrow is none of my business. So our plan at Jellyfish - and it's an odd one, I'll admit - is to make no long-range plans unless God given them explicitly."

There is something reassuring in the idea of letting God make the plans, especially because I'm pretty clueless most of the time. But, even if I wanted to make long-term plans I couldn't. I have absolutely no idea what our lives will look like a few months from now, let alone in five years. My husband is a seminary student, working towards we have no idea what. There is a good chance he may end up as a pastor...or not. Who knows?

As members of the United Methodist church, the potential of Jeff becoming a pastor means an even greater need for flexibility. Pastors in the UMC are subject to itineracy - meaning the leadership of the conference gets to choose where you will serve and when. Last I heard the average appointment for a pastor is around 5 years. That's a whole lot of uprooting for kids. Not to mention that pastors kids have a tough row to hoe as it is.

Whether Jeff ends up serving as a pastor or not, it seems to me that homeschooling would provide some stability for our kids. It would make frequent moves a little less traumatic. We could take mid-year breaks to go visit relatives and friends who live further away. Evenings that might be full of meetings and events wouldn't mean not getting to see Dad at all.

And beyond those freedoms there is the advantage of flexibility in day-to-day scheduling (Not feeling well today? We'll do it tomorrow. ), flexibility in subject matter (Find a tangent that's interesting and educational? Why not follow it?), flexibility in learning style (If one teaching method isn't working we can just try something else.) Education can be as fluid or as fixed as we want it to be. We can do whatever works for us. And that really excites me.

Even the bad days rock!

2011-09-20T10:08:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was a really rough day. Cap had a really bad day at school. The teacher said he was "having trouble hitting", broke all of his crayons and was just angry all day. Both Cap and Skidamarink were grouchy on the walk home from school. Cap because I wouldn't stop to put his coat on in the 80 degree weather and Skidamarink because I wouldn't let him cross the street by himself. They both cried the entire way home. So we got home, I immediately put both of them in bed. The little one I watch arrived a few minutes later. His contribution to the chaos was an extremely messy, change-the-clothes-and-mop-the-floor dirty diaper.

By the end of the day I had a tear-stained face, three cranky children, baby food covered clothes, a dirty-diaper smell that I couldn't get rid off, a migraine and morning sickness. It was not a good day.

And yet...

For such a bad day it had some beautiful moments. Like when I was washing dishes and couldn't help but sit right down on the floor in the kitchen, scoop Skid up into my lap and cover him with hugs and kisses. Or the conversation I had with Cap about his day at school...

After he had rested for awhile, I called him back out into the living room to sit and talk with me. I asked him what had happened in school. He shared with me that a boy in his class had been hitting him and he started hitting him back. I have no idea if that's what happened. The school's policy seems to be not to disclose any information involving other students (A really frustrating policy when you only hear part of the story. There's a little difference in how I respond to hearing that my son is randomly hitting other students and how I respond to hearing that my son takes a swing at a kid who is continually hitting/pushing/bullying the girls in the classroom. I really don't want him hitting, but there is an significant difference in motivation here!)

We spent some time talking about how hitting is not good and how he should not hit others. We talked about how hitting feels and how important it is to think of how other people feel. And now comes the shining moment of the day: Cap broke down in tears saying, "Mommy, I want to repent!" (Phraseology that he picked up watching What's in the Bible?) He got down on his knees, buried his face in his hands and cried. I pulled him into my lap and asked if I could help him. I helped him find the words as we prayed together, asking God for forgiveness and for help treating others with love. Then I wrapped him up in a hug and just held him for awhile, giving him a tangible experience of forgiveness.

Those are the moments that make it all worth it. For awhile I struggled with my decision to stay at home with my kids and how it would look to others. Doesn't it make me look like a failure? I mean I'm a decently intelligent and capable woman. I got accepted into a highly selective pre-med program. I could have done something. It's moments like these that have taught me to have confidence in my decision. All of the baby poop, splattered food, noise, mess and chaos is more than made up for by those spontaneous moments of guiding my little living epistles to the Father. What more challenging, significant and breathtakingly honorable occupation could I ever have?

And We're Back...

2011-09-14T12:53:00.001-05:00

The first three weeks of school went great! Cap did all of his work, got tons of clothespins (for doing kind things for others), and did everything he could to help the teacher. He had a great time and had good days. - Much like the little guy I am used to at home.

School this week has been like reliving last year. He's exhibiting behaviors he never shows at home. He's being disobedient and throwing fits and not being kind to others. Sure, Cap has rough days at home. There are days he struggles with doing things he doesn't want to do and occasionally he has trouble controlling his emotions. But those times are few and far between. The phrase that's especially difficult for me to hear is that he "isn't considerate of others". That is NOT the kid I know. The little boy I know always wants his brother to get his milk first and wants to help with everything he can. He's always looking for some way to do something nice for someone else. So, why the disconnect? Why is it that my little boy has a habit of transforming into someone else at school?

I spent a large part of last year trying to answer this question. I came to a few conclusions, but it was still perplexing. I understood a little more through our homeschool experiment this summer. The other day I read an article that I think may be a big piece of this confusing puzzle.

The article, Can Behavior Problems be a Sign of Giftedness, described my little guy to a T.

So how can you tell whether your child's misbehavior is due to giftedness? One sign is if the unwanted behavior is specific to a situation. Maybe your child mucks up only at school. But at home, he's consumed with a project or pastime, often getting lost in the activity and losing track of time, or isn't easily deterred from the task (he doesn’t hear you calling him for dinner because he's engrossed in a book, say).

We saw a major turn around in Cap's attitude and confidence over the summer when he discovered something he wanted to learn - how to read. He's been working hard to build and recognize words. But reading isn't a big part of the activity in school right now. They are doing worksheets that are either easy or boring for him. I'm not trying to say that my child is a genius and that the work they are doing at preschool is beneath him. For whatever reason, maybe he's just not engaged by what's going on in school right now.

His behavior may be understandable, but it's still inexcusable. The disobedience, rudeness and unkindness needs to stop. Hopefully looking at how school is and isn't meeting his needs will give us a starting point for preventing a continuous cycle of bad behavior.

Reason #1 - Peace

2011-09-01T19:12:00.001-05:00

The biggest question is why? Why homeschool? I've been meaning to write these posts for awhile, but it's such an overwhelming task. When people ask the question, I find myself talking on and on and not even getting to half of the reasons homeschool is interesting to me. There are so many reasons homeschooling seems like a good idea. And just when I think I've got a pretty good list of the pros, I come up with more. It's a pretty common occurrence to hear this question in my conversations with my husband: "isn't that a great reason to homeschool?" Everything from midnight runs to Krispy Kreme to increasingly busy schedules to the potential of back problems from the weight of backpacks makes me want to homeschool. But before I get ahead of myself and all jumbled up in my excitement for this seemingly crazy idea, let me step back. I'm writing these posts because I want to lay out my reasons in some kind of reasonable manner. I want to simply state my reasons without running into the very common temptation to defend homeschooling as the absolute best way to educate children (a defense I am ill-equipped to make as I'm not sure that homeschool is the best thing for us yet.) So, here we go: reason #1 why I think homeschooling may be the best option for us...

Peace

The kind that Jesus talks about. The don't worry about anything - God will take care of it kind of peace. It seems to me that it's pretty hard to live a peaceful existence in the world today. If we take an honest look at our society peace doesn't rule. Stress does. Lots and lots of stress springing, I think, from two sources: hurry and worry.

There's no doubt that we are in a hurry. Our schedules fill up and the places we live become more like hotels than homes. We fill up our time with all sorts of things - most of them good things - until we are frazzled and empty with no time to rest or reflect. I do it. But I don't want my kids to do it. I don't want them to grow up thinking their time isn't well spent unless it's fast-paced and full of accomplishment. I want them to take plenty of time to grow and learn and experience life. I want them to have time to be still and hear the voice of God. It breaks my heart to think about how busy the lives of so many little ones are. They are constantly running. It seems nonsensical that many kids have more hectic schedules than adults, but I'm pretty sure it's true. They go to school and do homework and learn instruments and go to church and sunday school and midweek programs and play sports. And all of those things are good. Yet they all add up, leaving very little time to just... be. I want my kids to learn instruments and go to church and sunday school and midweek programs and play sports. I want them to grow and learn and thrive. But how do I reconcile the experiences I want for my kids and the peaceful non-hurried life that is so important? I'm not sure, but I know that it's important to figure it out. And I think maybe homeschooling is one way to make it work.

What if my kids were done with "school" before lunch? What if they had all afternoon and all evening for pick up games and sports leagues and church stuff and practicing piano and playing drums? Would that give them time to just play with their friends in the backyard? Would that give them time to develop a talent or gift they otherwise might never pay attention to? Would that give them time to sit and think and grow in relationship with God and with their neighbors? I think it might. And, honestly that's one of the biggest reasons I want to homeschool. I know hurry is always going to be a struggle. But it seems to me that going to school for 7 or 8 hours a day for 15 years is a pretty big expenditure of time. Especially when all of that material can be learned in an astonishingly small fraction of the time at home. I don't want my kids to grow up and discover that they never had time to just be kids. I don't want them to learn the habit of excessive hurry.

It strikes me that peace is one of the most vital aspects of life as a Christian. Being a Christian means trusting God through Christ. If I put my trust in God I won't worry. Any time worry enters my life it is a sign that there is a part of me that I have not fully surrendered to my Lord. Believe me, it's my biggest struggle. I am a big worrier. It's the reason I cringe when someone calls me "a person of great faith." Faith is hard for me. I'm no good at trusting God. Thankfully, God has grace enough to cover my sinful worry!

It's a common misconception among adults that kids don't worry nearly as much as adults do. Somehow as adults we forget the agony we experience as kids. We look back and the concerns of childhood seem trivial. I think it's all a matter of perspective. I fully believe that separation anxiety is just as big of a stressor for an infant or toddler as the stack of bills and skimpy bank account is for an adult. Sure, the child has no good reason to believe that their parent won't return. But the child doesn't know that. Their crisis shakes them to the core, leaving them unsure of the future in much the same way that the crises of adulthood rattle us.

I'm a little afraid that the ruling educational theory plays up worry. The prevailing idea seems to be that the goal of education is to create successful adults. I think there is some truth in that idea, but the question is, "what is the measure of success?" So often, even despite the best of intentions, it becomes a matter of comparison for the kids. They think, "I'm not successful until I'm better than so-and-so." Worry abounds when one child wonders ,what if I'm not any good? What if I'm dumb? What if I can't do at x, y or z? What if I'm ugly? What if I just don't understand this? What if I fail?

Maybe I'm wrong about all of that. I certainly expect that my kids will have their share of worries no matter where they learn. But I wonder if home wouldn't be a less worry-filled place to learn - a place where we don't have to worry about a learning curve but can discover together at the pace that is best for us? A place where failing a test or wearing the wrong style of clothing or being a clutz won't bring paralyzing shame.

I want my kids to experience peace in a profound way. I don't want them to spend their childhoods having their heads crammed full of knowledge and accomplishment that they don't have time for peace. It absolutely amazes me how many kindergarteners I have heard of this fall that have homework. And not the kind of homework where you find something blue to share with the class. The kind of homework where you write out spelling lists 5 times and complete a page of addition facts. In Kindergarten. That blows my mind. And that on top of a full day school and traveling to dance class and soccer practice and everything else that goes on in the lives of little ones today.

It's hard enough for me to live a life of peace. I do not want it to be a struggle for my children. I do not want them to spend their childhood's frazzled about all of the things they have to do. I want them to have time to be kids and that's a big reason I think homeschooling may be right for us.

Back to School and other news

2011-09-01T17:46:00.000-05:00

August is over and school is back in session. Captain Silly Wiggles began pre-k 4 last week. He has had a comparatively good first week - no bad reports from the teacher. (Compared to bad reports every day last year.) Ok, actually there was one bad report. On the second day of school they did some cutting work. After a lecture on not cutting clothing or anything besides the paper what's the first thing my little guy did? Cut his shirt. And continue to play with the little hole until it turned into a giant hole. Ah, the power of suggestion. Still, he's not biting anyone or running away from his teachers, so that's improvement.

The most traumatic part of the last two weeks has actually been Skidamarink missing his big brother. Really missing him. The first day we dropped Cap off, Skid cried because he wanted to stay. He wanted to sit at the table next to his pal and play. When I finally got him out of Ben's classroom, he ran across the hall to try his luck in the pre-k 3 classroom. We've had pretty much the same experience on all of the other days we've taken Cap to school. Plus he is constantly wanting to know if we can go get his brother. He'll grab my fingers and try his hardest to pull me towards the door. "Mom, let's go get brother now!" 5 minutes after we leave the school. And he'll continue insisting it's time to get Cap about every 15 minutes until it actually is time to go get him - 3 hours later. I've got a few things planned to help Skidamarink adjust to his brother being back in school and to make the most of our time together.

But for Cap, so far things seem to be going well. It's not very often I get any response other than "nothing" from my question of "What did you do in school today?". Even my more pointed questions ("Did you sing some songs? Did you play outside?, etc) are usually met with one word answers. Still, no frustrated emails from the teacher is good news. He's coming home happy and not complaining about going which is even better news. (I'm aware that he's only had 4 days of class, but this is still a marked difference from last year. Everything could change, but I am hopeful. Cap is excited about learning since we've discovered something that he's truly interested in learning - how to read and write. He seems so much more confident in his ability to learn and to succeed - partially because he's 3 months older, but I think that our work together over the summer has played a big role!

This is an important year for us. It's the year when we'll make a decision for school next year. Keep him in the same school? Put him in public schools? Homeschool? Will we send Skidamarink to pre-school even if we keep Cap home? I'm very excited for the investigation opportunities this year poses. For conversations with different schools and people with different backgrounds. For experimenting with different ways of learning at home (something I hope to always encourage no matter where our boys go to school). For learning more about my kids and who they are and what they need. For listening to where God may be leading our family. And into all of that mix we will throw in the arrival of a new little one. According to Cap he will be having a sister and a brother in April. According to dad, it will definitely be a brother, and only one! So many things to think about and dream about in this year! So excited to experience it all!

Worry...

2011-07-17T20:20:00.000-05:00

I started this blog to help me through the process of discerning the right choices for my family - be they physical, educational, emotional, or whatever. There are so many decisions to make and today I suddenly found myself very emotional, wondering about one decision in particular. During a spontaneous crying session, I found myself at the feet of God, with nothing to say but the words that stuck out to me from our scripture lesson this morning: Abba, Father. (I honestly didn't hear much else from the lesson, what with two preschoolers to wrangle. But, somehow, I heard those words.) I found myself crying for help from my Daddy. There was a lot of comfort in that - knowing that God is my perfect heavenly Father, that he loves me unconditionally, that I can trust him for everything. And with the comfort of that trust, I was reminded in a new way of something God has shown me over and over again.

As I was sitting at the feet of my Father I realized that not only am I worried about making the right decision, I am worried about making the right decision in time. I feel confident that there is a choice God would have me make in most circumstances. And I've heard the verse about asking and receiving, so I know that if I ask for guidance I’ll get it. What I'm concerned about is that I'm on a timetable. I need to know what it is God wants now. Right now. I worry that the revelation will come too late or at an inconvenient time and I won't be prepared - I won't be in control.

That’s the key phrase: I won’t be in control. My search for knowing the right answers and my need for answers in my own time is often just a symptom of a lack of faith. Why do I need to know every step of the right course before I head out? Harsh honesty tells me it's probably so I can double check my footing - put more bluntly, it's so I can double check that what God tells me is right. I’m realizing that what I’m actually saying is, “I trust God… but I don’t trust God.” It’s nonsensical.

And my ludicrous cling to autonomy leads me to worry: if I demand to be in control, there is a very strong possibility that I will make the wrong choice despite all of my lists of pros and cons and hours of research I pour into decision making.

Worrying is one of my biggest battles. I’m a worrier. I have been for as long as I can remember. But worry is certainly sin. Sure there is concern, but that’s a different thing. Worrying, which is my area of expertise, springs from a lack of faith and there is no room for worry in my life. I have had to acknowledge the sin of my worrying over health and safety and every little bump in the night and rely on God to free me from that sin. In the same way I must also acknowledge the sin of my worrying about if and when God will show me the choices I should make. There is no doubt. He will show me and it doesn’t matter when, because he’ll show me at the right time. The only thing I need to be concerned about is listening and following.

So, no more approaching decision making from the land of worry. No more checking the clock to see how much more time I have before I have to make that crucial decision. I know that I need to let my Father lead me, resting in the confidence that he will not lead me astray.

Letter Ee

2011-07-13T12:22:00.001-05:00

We are currently using a combination of You Can Read and Raising Rockstars, plus whatever else we stumble across. :)

Captain Silly Wiggles is currently 4 years & 1 month old.

Our learning this week was centered around John 3:16:

Even a child is known by his deeds.

Song: Every Move I Make & Your Everlasting Love

Letter: Ee

Number: 6

Sight words: a, see, the, and, is

(I'm still working on deciding how I want to use RRSP & YCR together.

We stayed with the same unit until I decided what to do.)

Sight reader: Where is the egg?

On Monday we...

1. ...did the Getting Ready for Ee worksheet.

2. ...worked on his cutting worksheet. This time it was a ruler that he had fun measuring with.

3. ...traced the Ff's on the RRSP worksheets. He was is a really goofy mood and kept changing grips trying to be silly. He tried writing with each hand, with the end of the marker in his mouth and wanted to try with his toes. I managed not to get too frustrated and he eventually finished.

4. ...did the Color by Word YCR worksheet. He did a good job matching the word to the color he was supposed to use, but didn't do more than coloring the actual word.

5. ...played the Clothespin ABC game.

On Wednesday we...

1. ...worked on vocab cards. He didn't trace any, but we said the words together & talked about the E sounds. Then he cut them out very carefully.

2. ...tried the YCR sentence search. He wasn't ready for this worksheet. He was supposed to circle his sight words as I read the sentence. Instead he wanted all of the words to be circled. We'll probably skip these worksheets for awhile. (Which is fine, because there is more than enough material.)

3. ...tried the YCR word search. This one isn't for him right now either. He was very concerned that there were extra letters that didn't have words. I guess he thought they were lonely? :)

4...tried the YCR word shapes page. This was his first dot-to-dot and he really didn't get the idea. We'll practice a little more on some ABC or 123 dot-to-dots and try these again later.

5. ...traced the lines from word to word. He enjoyed this one and did great with it. He read the word, traced the line, and read the word again.

6. ...put together a number puzzle I found in the dollar section at Target.

On Friday we...

Went to the pool! It was my birthday and we celebrated with a trip to the pool and then the boys passed the evening with their adopted Grandma while Jeff and I went to dinner and browsed Barnes and Noble. I love bookstores! I made a valiant effort and succeeded in not going to the children's section right off the bat. (I did spend most of my time there, though.)

We actually spent two days at the pool and one day at the zoo this week. Cap learned how to swim without water wings and started going under on purpose! He went off the diving board after lots of begging. We let him, but he wasn't too sure about it in the end.

This week was a whole lot of trial and error. We found things that worked, things that didn't, and ways to adapt things that didn't work. We also made lots and lots of time to play. It is summer, after all - what fun is it if you can't throw all the plans out the window and go hang out at the pool?

All of our printables this week came were developed by Carisa at 1+1+1=1. Visit her website for all kids of wonderful resources. You can find her letter Ee printables here and You Can Read Unit 1 here.

The cutting workbook we used is called I Can Cut by School Specialty Publishing.

The most important consideration

2011-07-13T09:23:00.000-05:00

I am a Christian who believes that every part of my life belongs to God. I don't always act like every part of my life belongs to God. I often hold on to my "independence" like a rebellious teenager. Still, I believe that God has something to say on every decision I am faced with. I have no business making decisions for my own life without following the lead of the one to whom I have given my life. (That doesn't mean I always turn my decisions over to God, just that I know I should.) I believe that God wants certain things from & for me and I believe that the path he would choose for me is the highest possible fulfillment of my life - his ways are the best.

Jeff and I are reading the book The Call by Os Guinness with a couple of friends. As I contemplated our discussion last night, I realized that while I have considered God's will for our boys' education, I haven't explicitly expressed the ways I feel God is working through this conversation. I want to take some time to do that because I honestly believe that what God wants is the most important consideration.

I have experienced calling. At different times God has revealed himself to me in a powerful way, shown me something about who I am created to be, and called me to action. I know that I am called to share the love of God with kids. I know that I am called to minister to the church (universal) which I see as broken in many respects. I knew very early in my relationship with Jeff that I would marry him. I experienced it as a call before I even knew much about him. Those things are an integral part of who I am - to deny them for me would be like denying the color of the sky. The best way I can think of to describe my experience of call is as an awakening. There have been moments in my life when suddenly God has shown me some part of myself. He has shown me parts of myself that have always been there that I didn't notice or understand before the call. Sometimes it's like having a really fuzzy idea of some truth without the ability to articulate that idea and suddenly it all comes into focus. Other times it's the experience of a hearing a completely novel idea and realizing that deep down I always knew it was true. It brings peace. It brings clarity.

I'm not a very confident person. I think my biggest struggle is for confidence. I second guess my self all the time. I'm usually pretty sure that I can't do something before I even try it. I hate confrontation and conflict, often because I lack confidence in my abilities or my decisions. I don't like to claim absolutes because there are few things that I am absolutely certain of. The things I am absolutely certain of coincide directly with my callings. I am absolutely certain that God is who he says he is and that he will do what he says he will do. I am absolutely certain that God has given me a special ability to minister to kids. I am absolutely certain that God has shown me ways the church is damaged and that he gives me strength to minister to some of those wounds. I am absolutely certain that I am called to be Jeff's wife. Despite my hatred of conflict, I stand firm upon these convictions and am more than willing to stand up for them.

I'm finding God in our discussion of homeschool. In fact, I'm finding that God led us into the discussion of homeschool. Honestly, my intentions were innocent - I didn't seek out this weird/against the norm idea of home education. It found me. As I've said, we discussed the idea casually before but never considered that we might choose to homeschool. Really, this whole conversation came about through a link to a page about nature scavenger hunts and my effort to help my "problem child" better transition between preschool classes. Now, suddenly we're on this incredible journey that seems to be making each of us a more fulfilled version of ourselves and holds promise for some wonderful life experiences.

Is God calling us to homeschool? I honestly don't know. But I do feel confident that he is leading us in the journey. He has shown up. He has revealed things that feel like an awakening - the sudden realization of things I couldn't see, but were always there - bringing peace and clarity. Though we don't want to make this discussion public until we are closer to a decision, I feel confident about this process of discernment. I know that, if this is where we are called to be God will give me the courage to stand up for a decision that will be extremely controversial. Maybe we won't end up homeschooling. Maybe it will become clear to us that we need to send our kids to public school or maybe that homeschool would be a good fit for one kid but not both. I have no idea where this is going. I do know that my eyes have been opened in new ways that will be beneficial for our family no matter where our kids go to school.

Letter Ff

2011-07-12T11:40:00.002-05:00

We are currently using a combination of You Can Read and Raising Rockstars, plus whatever else we stumble across. :)

Captain Silly Wiggles is currently 4 years & 1 month old.

Our learning this week was centered around John 3:16:

For God so loved the world,

that he gave his only begotten son

that whoever believes in him

shall not perish but shall have everlasting life.

A side note that I can add since I'm posting this a few weeks after we completed the unit: both of the boys are really stuck on this verse. Cap calls it the Jesus verse and it's his favorite now. Skidamarink surprised me by reciting it last night. I tried to get him to repeat it, prompting him with "For...". He proudly responded, "five, six, seven!" It was a good chuckle. :)

Song: For God so Loved the World by GodRocks!

Letter: Ff

Number: 5

Sight words: a, see, the, and, for

(We are going to try spending a few weeks on each YCR unit,

plus we'll add to that the sight word from RRSP.)

Once again, the sight reader was a hit. He continues to want to read all of the books at once and then needs a break before jumping into the workboxes. Here he is reading the book from last week.

On Monday we...

1. ...did the Getting Ready for Ff worksheet

2. ...worked on his cutting worksheet. It was an airplane with a jet stream behind it. He had a blast flying it around the house.

3. ...traced the Ff's on the RRSP worksheets. He was very careful to stay on all of the lines. After he did some drawing on the page. :)

4. ...built some words with Duplos. I dug out some duplos and put sticker dots with letters on round label stickers. Cap had a blast "building the word". He got to play Word World! I got the idea for this one at Filth Wizardry.

5. ...played the clothespin number game. It is the number counterpart to the Clothespin ABC game from 1+1+1=1 we played last week. Again, big hit. You can find this game here.

6. ...played a Cars matching game he got for his birthday.

On Wednesday we...

1. ...worked on vocab cards. He traced a few. We said all of the words together, emphasizing the F sound. Then he cut them apart very carefully.

2. ...Played with the playdough words. (YCR) He got these out when I stepped out of the room. When I came back, "for" was all done. Last week he hated them!

3. ...matched up big and little letters with an egg matching game. I got this idea here.

4...played the Cars matching game.

On Friday we...

1. ...colored the verse. Again he didn't care too much about it. One of the ways he's become more interested in writing is by using different materials. I'm thinking we probably should experiment with some different art materials for coloring pages too. He scribbled on the page a bit and then gladly moved on.

2. ...played with sight words on our dry erase board. I had a couple of different ideas. My first idea was to write the sight words on the board and have him erase the sight word as he read it. My second idea was to pull out some vocab cards and make sentences for him to read.

Cap's idea was to write the words on the board himself. I really wish I had gotten a picture of this one, but a little Skidamarink absconded with my camera. By the time I got it back it was too late. I love that we had the flexibility to throw away the plans and let him adapt them to what he needed. If I had pushed the issue of doing things the way I had intended he wouldn't have gotten much out of it and we both would likely have been grumpy. When he changed the game he had fun and actually learned more - he learned how to form different little letters! Exciting stuff!

Although Cap was very eager to learn this week and although I had lot more planned, we didn't do any more boxes. We had bigger fish to fry - a trip to Missouri to meet our new nephew/the boys new cousin. Even though we didn't spend as much time in the boxes as we have in the previous weeks, Cap still mastered the material.

Even more exciting were the ways he initiated more learning into the weekend. He's taken an interest in the concept of compound words - talking about them all the time and even coming up with his own examples. We had long discussions on phonics - him wanting to sound out every letter he saw in environmental print. It's a good thing we drove the country roads as we came home. We had long stops at many a stop sign while Cap sounded out each letter. :) The most fun learning experience was when Dad found a turtle on the side of the road. We took him back to Grandma and Grandpa's house and spent some time learning about turtles through observation.

We had so much fun this week. It was so exciting to find all of the ideas for making learning toys from things we already have. The boys love them and they didn't cost a dime! Cap is very much a kinesthetic learner and all of the hands-on materials were great for him. It was fun for me too - making things and sparking ideas for more learning opportunities. Still, best of all was watching the boys take a heightened interest in the world around them.

All of our printables this week came were developed by Carisa at 1+1+1=1. Visit her website for all kids of wonderful resources. You can find her letter Ff printables here and You Can Read Unit 1 here.

The cutting workbook we used is called I Can Cut by School Specialty Publishing.

Letter Ii

2011-07-11T19:06:00.001-05:00

And another post for today. I was reluctant to blog about our preschool time after the pictures from the first week took so long to upload. I guess I've learned my lesson: lower res. pictures and more frequent posting! :)

While Cap still needs a lot of the material in the RRSP program (he still gets confused over a couple letters, has little writing practice, needs to learn beginning sounds) he's really excited about learning to read. Since he's wanting to prolong our time each day anyway, I thought we would try adding more boxes and mixing in the You Can Read program in with the RRSP stuff we are already doing. You Can Read is made up of sight words and the more challenging material in YCR is motivating him to learn some of the more beginning stuff. Once again, you can find it all at 1+1+1=1. Can't beat fantastic materials that are free! :)

Captain Silly Wiggles is currently 4 years old.

Our learning this week was centered around Philippians 4:13:

I can do all things

through Christ who

strengthens me.

What an excellent verse for the Captain - his favorite phrase is, "I Can't!"

Song: I Can Do Everything by GodRocks!

(wonderful scripture memorization resource.

In fact, when I ask Ben to tell me this verse he breaks out into song!)

Letter: Ii

Number: 4

Sight words: a, see, the, and, can

Cap dove right back in with the sight reader books today - usually wanting to read the ones from past weeks as well!

On Monday we...

1. ...did the Getting Ready for Ii worksheet. He had fun tracing some slow and some fast. Ironically, the ones he traced quickly are the straightest. Skidamarink got ahold of the paper later and scribbled - he did intentionally match colors, though!

2. ...worked on his cutting worksheet

3. ...played clothespin ABCs. I found this game at 1+1+1=1, printed it out, and laminated it. I hot-glued some old Cars toys on to clothespins. Both boys think it is the coolest thing ever! In fact, it's gotten so much use I've already had to reattach the cars several times. You can find it the game here.

4. ...worked on word puzzles from You Can Read.

5. ...traced lots of letter Ii's. He wanted them to have long tops and bottoms and decided to color in all of the letters in the verse. He was so proud of his accomplishments. We combined the two letter tracing worksheets into more boxes to make room for some boxes to hold You Can Read materials.

6. ...made a Genesis collage. I cut out various pictures of creation and taped a piece of contact paper to the window. He placed the items on the paper while we listened to the creation story on The Bible Experience CDs.

7. ...worked a Thomas the Train puzzle.

On Wednesday we...

1. ...worked on vocab cards, with a little break for milk in the middle. He happily traced all of the I's and cut them out very neatly. He's improving so quickly!

2. ...well....we were intending to do an I for I activity, but couldn't come up with anyone we knew who started with I except for a friend from preschool who we don't have any contact info for. So, we just skipped that one. Maybe we'll make something for her before school starts in the fall?

3. ...played a counting/number recognition game. Can you guess where it came from? Carisa at 1+1+1=1 is amazing! Once again, this one was a hit with Cap. You can find the game here.

4...made playdough words (YCR). We were trying to build sentences, but it was just too much. I think we'll go down to two words a week for playdough time.

5. ...colored the verse, which subsequently got ripped...

6. ...put together a video for the What's in the Bible video contest. I blogged our entry here: We're Finalists! (We didn't win, but we will be getting a personalized video message from the WITB crew!) Cap especially loved the stick puppets, which you can download on the What's in the Bible page.

7. ...did the Thomas puzzle again.

On Thursday we...

1. ...did the mixed up fonts worksheet from YCR. He blew me away with how easily he completed it!

2. ...played sight word Bingo. Another hit! (YCR)

Hmm...as I look at his shirt, this probably happened on Wednesday to take the place of the I-I activity... Oh well!

3. ...cut out and taped together his verse. Finally, it fits as a crown! :)

4. ...did the strong man craft. I don't have any pictures because he was getting tired and didn't want to do any more. Then, while I was putting all of the supplies away he decided to finish it up.

We had a few more boxes that we didn't do. He didn't feel like doing much on Friday (although he was eager to start in the morning). I didn't push it. The stuff we didn't do was egg letter matching, write a story together, and play with his Noah toys on the water table. We can do it another time. :) Once again it was a very good week. I'm blown away by how quickly he's soaking up information and asking for more!

All of our printables this week came were developed by Carisa at 1+1+1=1. Visit her website for all kids of wonderful resources. You can find her letter Ii printables here and You Can Read Unit 1 here.

The cutting workbook we used is called I Can Cut by School Specialty Publishing.

Letter Hh

2011-07-11T17:15:00.003-05:00

Lots of blog posts today as I try to catch up on all the material I didn't post over the last 4 weeks. Here we go... :)

Captain Silly Wiggles is currently 4 years old.

Our learning this week was centered around Exodus 20:12:

Honor your father and your mother.

We talked about how honoring mom & dad means more than just doing what we say, but doing it with a good attitude. The first couple of weeks he talked a lot about the verses outside of "school" time. He was regularly asking if a given behavior was "letting his light shine" or following God's rules. He hasn't talked as much about this one. Maybe it's less palatable? ;)

Song: "Listen Little Ducklings" along with the Veggie Tales movie, Pistachio

Letter: Hh

Number: 3

Sight Word: and

Unlike the previous weeks, he wasn't really enjoying the sight reader. He read it once or twice, but didn't ask for it like before. That's ok, though. It really surprises me that he's taking such an interest in reading right now. We'll go at his pace.

On Monday we...

1. ...did the Getting Ready for Hh worksheet.

2. ...practiced our H's. He was a little antsy and didn't want to do it, so we compromised and he traced 3.

3. ...did a cutting worksheet. This time it was a tiger hiding in grass. So cool!

4. ...drove cars on the letter H. I can't remember where I found this one. I know I saw the idea at a couple of sites, but I've been doing so much homeschool searching lately that I'm having trouble keeping it all straight. I'll do more checking and see if I can track down a site. Anyway, I cut an H out of cardstock, added start and finish lines and yellow stripes. He rolled Lightning on a silver stamp pad and raced around the H being careful to travel in the correct order. He loved it!

5. ...played in the bean tub with Skidamarink. It's full of red beans, pinto beans and dried peas. Plus I added in some letters and scoops. I made this last year when Cap kept deciding to clean out my cabinets by dumping stuff on the floor and playing in the mess.

On Wednesday we...

1. ...did an H for H activity. He was excited to make a heart with handprints for Aunt Heather. Then, I helped him write his name on the heart.

2. ...worked on vocabulary cards. He traced the letters this time and wanted to color! As he traced we said the words together, emphasizing the H sound and then he cut them out. He's getting better at cutting. He thinks it's fun to cut slowly until he gets to the end and then cut as fast as he can!

3. ...traced the Hh on the Verse page. Once again, he wanted to draw people from his letters. He made a man with arms, legs and a face whom he named "David H".

4...made some playdough words. We got these from the You Can Read materials at 1+1+1=1. I've decided to work more on sight words since that seems to be Cap's favorite part of this whole endeavor. :) We combined words and small objects to form sentences he could read...which he didn't care about. At all. Preschoolers are so funny! At least he learned to roll the dough between his hands to make snakes!

5. ... played in the beans some more.

On Friday we...

1. ...colored the verse. He spent an insane amount of time coloring and then decided it would be fun to scribble all over it in pencil.

2. ...cut out the verse and taped it together.

3. ...did the "Honor your Father and Mother" craft.

4. ...played in the beans some more and filled out his certificate.

I know we did much more this week, but I lost my lesson plan paper in the shuffle of trying to clean out closets and reorganize the house. Overall the week was absolutely wonderful, even if Cap didn't care about the stuff I was most excited about. He was eager to "do school" each day. In fact, he wanted to do it for so long that we needed to take breaks in the middle. :)

All of our printables this week came were developed by Carisa at 1+1+1=1. Visit her website for all kids of wonderful resources. You can find her letter Hh printables here: Hh.

The cutting workbook we used is called I Can Cut by School Specialty Publishing.

A Conversation with a Homeschool Graduate

2011-07-11T14:05:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned in an earlier post, we recently got together with a friend who was homeschooled. She is the oldest of (I believe) six homeschooled children in her family. I was very eager for her input and am so glad we went to talk with her. I want to share some of our questions and her responses as well as some of my feelings about the topic. (Note: I didn't quote M verbatim, I'm writing this blog based on my memory of our conversation and the notes I took. Sorry, M if I got something wrong.)

1. What was your schedule like (daily and yearly)?
M's answer: They started each day with devotions then jumped into academics in the morning. The kids usually spent the afternoons pursuing their own interests and hobbies (music, crafts, etc.) They took a break in the summer.

My thoughts: The schedule is one of the things that most amazes me about homeschooling. Jeff and I have long been concerned about how full kids days are and how little time there seems to be to pursue their own interests and develop their unique talents. Kids today are really stressed. They've got a million things going on and tons of balls to juggle and homework to pile on top of it all. But it seems that homeschoolers have lots of time to explore the world. I keep reading over and over again that it usually only takes a few hours for homeschoolers to accomplish what it takes schools 7 hours to teach. It seems crazy, but I guess it makes sense. Homeschoolers have fewer interruptions. They work at their own pace, which means they can take extra time on lessons that are more difficult for them and don't have to spend as much time on lessons that they pick up quickly. They have a very small student-to-teacher ratio, which means they don't have to wait long for the teacher to answer their questions. The idea of having time to just be kids is one of the things that most draws me to homeschooling. (And that time of "just being kids" is often full of learning!)

2. How did having multiple students of different ages work in your family?
M's answer: It wasn't a problem and as the kids got older (around 13) they began teaching themselves.

My thoughts: I have read in many places that homeschool kids quickly become self-starters who take charge of their own education. Wouldn't it be wonderful if I didn't have to goad my kids to learn, but they would willingly seek learning? Also, given the way homeschooling schedules seem to run, it seems like there would be plenty of time to spend one on one time with each kid. Plus, I would get built-in one on one time with each kid! :)

3. What are the laws regarding homeschooling in Illinois?
Have you ever had any problems?
M's answer: In Illinois homeschools are considered private schools. You do not have to register or notify the school district that you are homeschooling. Their family has never had any issues with their school district or truancy officers.

My thoughts: This is probably the aspect of homeschooling that most freaks me out. I'm not a big fan of confrontation and am concerned about missing some step of the process and getting in trouble. I also ran across a local website that talked about what to do if a truancy officer comes to your door and how you should immediately go to the doctor if a truancy officer comes and get your children checked out so that no one can claim abuse. That all sounds pretty intimidating to me. Still, the fact is that homeschooling is perfectly legal and Illinois is actually one of the best states to homeschool in. (A shocker, right? Illinois not being overly controlling?)

4. What did you love about being homeschooled?
M's answer: She particularly liked the way it affected her family - the closeness of their relationships and getting to spend lots of time together. She also loved that she had time and freedom to learn about things that interested her.

My thoughts: The things M loves about homeschooling are a couple of big draws for me as well. It's so important for kids to have good relationships with their parents, but it keeps getting harder and harder for parents to even get face time with their kids.

5. What about record keeping, especially if there would be an eventual need to return to school or go to college?
M's answer: Keep records of coursework. Her parents made transcripts and had a diploma printed for her. They took the California Achievement Tests annually.

My thoughts: This question actually generated a lot of conversation - especially among the hubbies who were reluctant participants in the conversation to begin with. It was confusing to those of us with little experience with homeschooling how a family could print up a document and an official organization would just accept it. No matter how many times we said, "yeah, but..." the answer was just that they do. Those institutions can see the quality of the student's work. Also, homeschool students tend to excel in higher education and colleges have begun specifically recruiting homeschoolers. And the paper work is official. It is coming from a private school that has every authority to issue diplomas and transcripts. I have read in a few places that it can be helpful to name your homeschool. You can even get educators discounts at a lot of places.

6. What was your style of homeschooling?
What curriculum did you use?
M's answer: They used Abeka, Saxon, etc. Her mother suggested she tell me not to go nuts about curriculum in the beginning - just enjoy our time learning together. She also mentioned finding materials that fit each of our educational styles.

My thoughts: Curriculum excites me. There are lots of different approaches to homeschooling. From the research I've done, I think I would be an eclectic homeschooler - taking bits and pieces from different approaches. I've always liked certain aspects of Montessori education, I have a high interest in delight-led learning, I like the work/service/study aspect of the Moore formula, I know I need a little structure to keep me organized. However, I wouldn't want to adopt any of those programs as a rule for our homeschool. Mostly, like M said, I think it will be about continuing to pay attention to how each of us learns and choosing materials and activities that suit our needs. How awesome is it that we would have the freedom to choose what is best for us?

7. How did it affect your family life? What was it like to be together so much? How did you create space?
M's answer: They are all very close. She said she thinks forced togetherness is not necessarily a bad thing - they had to work out their problems and go on.

My thoughts: I like that homeschooling would allow us to have time as a family without having to strictly regulate how many activities kids could participate in. Who knows how our relationship will look at the end of our kids school years? But I would hope that by spending time together each day we would remain close. It seems that most homeschool families I read about are very close-knit. I do know that it would be important for me to get some time away from time to time and to provide places in our home for being quiet and alone.

8. One of the questions/concerns most frequently raised about homeschooling is socialization. What are your thoughts on homeschooling and socialization/making friends?
M's answer: Homeschooling is actually better preparation for real world socialization that institutional schools. In an institutional school you spend the majority of your time at a desk listening or working on papers. You have little time to talk to others. The socialization that does occur is age restricted. In homeschooling, your interact naturally with people of all ages, races, etc. as you go about the business of life. Her family was involved in a homeschool co-op that met together frequently doing things like visiting nursing homes, going ice-skating, etc. Her family was also involved in 4H

My thoughts: Socialization was the big question for me in the beginning. The more I've read, the more I found that socialization just isn't an issue for homeschoolers. The kids participate in all kinds of activities - generally more than a school kid would be able to (no homework to hold them back!). They play sports and participate in 4H and play at playgrounds - all the time making friends with kids their age. They visit nursing homes, are often active in their churches, take numerous field trips and have more time to visit relatives - all the time making friends with people older and younger than them. They get lots of real-world experience - running errands and helping take care of their home and family. I've read in several places that blind studies have been conducted where homeschooled students routinely are accessed as more socially adept than their institutional school compatriots. I've heard it said that in homeschooling the world is your classroom. If that's true, then how natural is it that homeschoolers have no problem with learning how to operate in the world (socialization)?

9. What was the role of your father in homeschooling?
M's answer: He led morning devotions each morning over breakfast before he left for work. He supported the school and his family. He helped with subjects that he was particularly adept at.

My thoughts: This is important to me. While I know the primary work of actually teaching the children would be my own, this is in no way "my thing". If we decide to homeschool, both of us have to make the decision and I know we will each have a role to play. A lot of the science stuff I just imagine naturally falling to Jeff as he invites the boys to the garage to help him with whatever interesting little experiment he's working on - you know he's already out there melting stuff anyway! I imagine the boys getting hands-on learning time with dad as they help him build a fort in the backyard and catch turtles on the side of the road.

10. How do you teach subjects that you aren't an expert in?
M's answer: There are lots of options - there are curricula that walk you through lessons, you can relearn/learn the material yourself, you can trade lessons with someone else (i.e. trading music lessons for yard work, etc.) As kids get older you can often teach themselves or take certain classes at the high school or community colleges. Co-ops also very often offer classes.

My thoughts: Another attractive aspect of homeschooling - the focus seems to shift from teacher to student to become more about learning together. After all, education is less about retaining information than it is about learning how to find answers to questions and think critically about what you are learning. I like the idea of studying alongside my boys. Sure, I'll prepare lessons. But I bet I'll enjoy learning the stuff just as much as they will and enthusiasm is often contagious.

11. What are the negative aspects of homeschooling?
M's answer: For her mother, the negatives were the amount of time it took to organize, the need for time alone, and critics of homeschooling. She didn't see any real negatives from her perspective as a kid. In fact, she mentioned that from time to time her mom would threaten to send them to public schools as a punishment.

My Own Processing: These things are the only downsides that I see at this point. Sure, there will be other things to consider and watch out for. But there are always things to consider and watch out for no matter where the kids go to school. Organization will take a lot of time. I'll probably need to use some preprinted curricula instead of just making it all up (which I would love to do!) just for the sake of time and sanity. Jeff's biggest concern is that the preparation for homeschooling would consume me and take up all my time. I agree that that is something I definitely need to be careful of. Still, I don't think it's enough of a negative to rule out homeschooling. I can see the need to find time away. The nice thing is that we could take a break whenever we needed and pick back up when we were ready. I could get away for a few days and things would still be ok.

I am concerned about critics. I know there will be people that won't like it just because it's weird - and I'll admit homeschooling is not a common choice, but that doesn't make it a bad choice. There will be others who will be genuinely concerned for our kids. I hope that they will do some investigating, read this blog, talk to us, and trust us. We want what's best for our kids. We would never ever do anything to cause them harm and we will not make this decision lightly.

It's so funny that going to public school was such an unwelcome idea for the kids, but it makes sense - homeschool and you can spend a few hours a day in academics, several hours playing, and do it from the comfort of your own home (even in your jammies if you want). You can take random field trips as often as you want. No cafeteria food. No homework. It already sounds like a set up for a pretty good childhood!

Thanks so much, M, for sitting down and talking with us! We greatly appreciate your perspective, help, and support!

Letter Tt

2011-07-11T10:56:00.005-05:00

The bad news is that I've done an awful job of posting timely blogs about Cap's "preschool" time for the last month. The good news is that we've been consistent with actually doing preschool over the past month. (We completed the Tt unit on 6/9/11). We've met our goals each and every week, which is a big deal for me. One of my biggest concerns about homeschooling is, "Will we actually do the stuff?" So far, the answer is yes!

Captain Silly Wiggles is currently 4 years old.

Our learning this week was centered around Exodus 20:15:

Thou shall not steal.

We actually talked about all of the Ten Commandments, but that's a little much for a 4 year old to memorize. Although, I'm sure he could. We sang the song, "Ten Commandment Boogie" by GoFish. Our letter for the week was Tt, our number was 2, and our sight word was "the". Once again, Cap absolutely loved the sight word reader! He's very proud of his ability to read a few words now and is asking me to read all kinds of environmental print to him. He's loving school time and has decided that it's his job to take his workboxes out of the stack I bring them out in and order them very neatly on the table side by side.

On Monday we...

1. ...did the Getting Ready for Tt worksheet

2. ...worked on vocabulary cards: He didn't want to trace the letters. So, just like last week, we said the words together, emphasizing the T sound and then he cut them out.

3. ...made playdough Tt's. (I made this one myself with paper, a sharpie & my laminator.)

4. ...worked on his cutting worksheet. He loved making the caterpillars feet move.

5. ...played with his Leap Frog Scribble & Write. He's played with this before, but never actually followed the directions. It's was so exciting to watch him write and draw. He had a blast! The picture is actually from Wednesday. We did this one every day.

6. ...read the Tag Book, Ozzie & Mack. Again, the picture is from Wednesday, but we read it all three days.

On Wednesday we...

1. ...colored the verse. He wasn't really excited about coloring this week. He made an effort and we moved on.

2. ...practiced writing some T's. He pointed out that the T's looked sort of like a cross and decided to draw a circle for where Jesus' head was.

3. ...made a letter T tiger. I was pretty excited about the tiger. I'm usually not very creative, just good at doing things other people have done before. I found several places that had made crafts from foam letters. But I came up with the tiger on my own. I'm sure many other people have made Tigers from T's. I was stil excited that I figured this one out on my own. :)

4...practiced writing his name. When Cap was in school last year his teacher had laminated a sheet of writing paper with his name written in regular and dotted lines for him to trace. We worked on it, but it quickly became clear that he had no idea how to make the letters in his name. We've got a little work to do on forming the letters before we come back to this one.

5. ...played with the Scribble & Write again.

6. ...read the Tag book again.

On Thursday we...

1. ...traced our Tt verse page. Here he is showing me the circle he drew above of the T. :)

2. ...cut out the verse and taped it together.

3. ...did a T for T: We listed all of the people and things we could think of that started with the letter T then chose someone to give an T thing. This week he wanted to give his friends Timmy, Toney, & Tucker a Thomas the Train book.

4. ...did the 10 Commandments craft. We painted the numbers with watercolors. He enjoyed mixing the colors. Then he cut out the numbers and glued them onto the tablets and glued the tablets onto the paper.

5. ...finally, we filled out his certificate and put all of his hard work in a binder. And he spent some more time playing with his Scribble & Write and reading his Tag book.

We had another great week this week. There were a few things that didn't go quite as well as last week - he didn't care about coloring at all after wanting to spend tons of time coloring last week. Still, he woke up every morning wanting to dig into all of this stuff. The fact that my kid is eager to learn is super exciting for me. I especially love the discoveries he's making on his own - like when he excitedly proclaimed that he could be a letter T or a letter L:

All of our printables this week came were developed by Carisa at 1+1+1=1. Visit her website for all kids of wonderful resources. You can find her letter Tt printables here: Tt.

The cutting workbook we used is called I Can Cut by School Specialty Publishing.

Yuck!

2011-07-11T07:43:00.000-05:00

I try not to get to crazy about cleaning house for every little get together we have. I try to keep our house clean, but the reality is that sometimes it's a mess. I figure it doesn't do any good to pretend like we have it all together by making a mad dash to clean house every time someone comes over. Parties are a different story. I tend to go all out on cleaning before a party. I'm not sure what makes me think the house needs to be spotless before a large gathering, but I tend to stress trying to make everything perfect.

We had a party this weekend. Several friends came over and we had a blast! But, as I look at my floors, I have to wonder: why in the world do I bother mopping before a party? Don't get me wrong - the time with friends is always well worth the mess. But I think I might be better served to save my energy and mop after everyone goes home! :)

Continuing Past Conversations

2011-07-07T19:07:00.000-05:00

I like having conversations in the car. There's no better place for philosophy that when driving a considerable distance. Jeff and I have had lots of these philosophical conversations in the last nine years. Early on in our relationship, we had several conversations about education. Jeff was a youth minister, I worked with kids and we were both heart-broken by how busy and stressed out kids are these days. We knew 3rd graders who had no time to play because they were busy with school and tons (and tons and tons) of homework and music lessons. We spent a lot of time hashing out our parenting strategy so that our kids wouldn't be so overwhelmed. I mean , really, it's scary that the word "stress" is even in the vocabulary of young students, let alone a very real part of their lives. The solution that we came up with was to limit the extracurriculars our future kids would participate to at most one extracurricular sport/lesson per season. It never seemed like the best answer, but it was the best we could come up with.

We also spent a lot of time talking about our respective school experiences. Mine was positive once I got into high school. Before high school I was put in the "Barney"(as in big purple dinosaur) classes -classes for the "dummies" (of course, named by the "smarter" kids). With the help of some amazing teachers who helped me gain confidence, I eventually moved in to the more advanced level of coursework. In high school, I flourished and became a model student. I went above and beyond the requirements and loved everything about school.

Jeff's experience was much different. He is a pretty smart cookie who was not often challenged in school. His grades were average because he couldn't see the point in doing all of the monotonous busy-work that makes up such a large chunk of school work. School was tough for him because it held him back. He had to listen to lessons and do (or not do) homework long after he had mastered a subject. As we talked about Jeff's experience we also talked about the fact that boys tend to do worse in school than girls. For some reason the system isn't working as well for boys as it is for girls.

These foundations laid the groundwork for where we find ourselves today - carefully considering different educational options for our two boys. Jeff had a friend who was homeschooled. But, while we talked briefly about homeshool, we always just assumed our children would go to public schools. Today I find myself leaning away from the idea of public school. At the very least, if we send our kids to school, I want to be very prepared to advocate for my children.

We don't have anything against public school. They provide a wonderful service for the majority of people, despite the problems. And the majority of the problems are logistical - it's hard work to provide education for an entire room/school/district/state/nation of unique individuals. There are gads of amazing teachers who are devoted to what they do and make a great difference in the lives of the children they teach. I had a myriad of wonderful teachers who played a big part of making me who I am today. But, as I look at the problems inherent in the system, I have to wonder: is public education really best for my kids? Is there anything better out there?

I look at my little Captain Silly Wiggles and his experience last year in preschool and wonder how he will fit in institutional education. He struggled this year - not with the material, with the structure. His little progress reports came home saying he didn't know lots of things he had clearly shown mastery in at home. At the beginning of the year he was getting in trouble constantly for not participating or acting out with behaviors he just wasn't exhibiting elsewhere. By the middle of the year he was coping - he wasn't really participating, but he would sit quietly at the table while the other kids went about their business. And it wasn't a social issue - he had lots of friends. At the class picnic at the end of the year kids where fighting over who could sit by him at lunch. He has shown an ability to sit still, concentrate and follow directions at home and in other places. But somehow he wasn't thriving in the school environment. He had a wonderful teacher who put lots of effort into helping him, but nothing ever seemed to work.

Yet, this summer as we have tried out some "school" stuff at home in an attempt to ease the transition next fall, he has completely surprised me. In the six weeks that we have been working together at home he is soaking up information. He's willing to try new things, he's writing, he's reading, he's asking questions day and night. So, as we experience learning together I find myself asking a question I never ever ever imagined I would consider - should we homeschool? And I'm finding myself in a very scary/exciting/weird place of thinking the answer may very likely be yes!

A Balanced Perspective

2011-07-01T01:15:00.000-05:00

I've really been trying to get a balanced perspective on the whole homeschooling issue. I found what I was looking for today as I read the comments on a blog post. In the column from the NY Times, a mother was writing about her desire to spend more time (positively) interacting with her son. This desire had led to her decision to homeschool. I could see where she was coming from and share some of her motivation. I know too many kids who get up, rush to school, rush home to do homework, rush to music lessons or soccer practice or scouts and go to bed without ever spending any real time with their parents. They are lucky if they get any time to play or even eat a real meal at a table. This is certainly not the kind of lifestyle I want for my kids. Of course, there will be schedules to follow and places to go at specific times. But I really want peace for them. Peace and rest and play and fun.

I decided to read through the comment section. I found the usual string of criticism that I was ready for - things like socialization, learning to follow a schedule, respect for authority figures, credentials - things that I have read enough about to understand that they really aren't issues for homeschooled kids. What did catch my attention were the comments about apron strings.

The mom in the post talked a lot about the things she wanted from her relationship with her son. The concern raised was that she was really just scared to let her son grow up. I'm not ready to condemn the writer with this motivation. The truth is: too much hurry is not good for anyone and it's incredibly important that kids have strong relationships with their parents. Her decision to homeschool doesn't necessarily mean she wants to thwart her son's independence and force his regression to babyhood.

Still, I think this consideration is an important one. It will be important, no matter what form of education we select, to make sure we foster close, trusting relationships with our boys while encouraging their independence. After all, that is the goal of parenting - helping our little ones grow into responsible, loving adults.

We're finalists!

2011-06-24T16:23:00.000-05:00

The people at What's in the Bible are holding a video contest. The entries were supposed to be 30 to 60 second videos telling "Why I love "What's in the Bible?". Our video is one of the top ten! That means we'll be getting a personalized video from one of the Jelly puppets! I'm so excited! The five winning videos will be featured on DVD 7 in the series.
You can vote for us on the contest web site.

The biggest decision so far...

2011-06-22T00:46:00.001-05:00

We've been parents for 4 years now and we've faced lots of decisions in that time. Paci or no paci? How much tv can the boys watch? How will we deal with bad behavior? Some decisions have been easy and others have required much more thought, but none come close to the decision we are about to make. Captain Silly Wiggles is 4 years old. Next May he will be 5 and it will be time for Kindergarten. That means we have 1 year to make a decision about where Cap will go to school.

It seems so odd to me that there is anything to consider. Before I had kids, I never would have considered any option aside from public school. When Cap was born I was starting to think about different options, especially as I considered the ways the current educational model fails boys and met the first homeschool graduate I have ever known. But I never really considered there to be an option for us besides public school.

Over the last year lots of things have made me wonder about the best educational options for our boys. Here are the options as I see them right now:
Public School: We currently live in a really good school district, but I'm not altogether sold on public school for tons of reasons I'll get into in another post.
Private School: Cap currently attends a preschool program that is part of a K-12 Christian school.
Homeschool: Again, it seems so strange to even consider! As I write, homeschooling is where my heart is. I've got some reservations, but the more I research the more comfortable I feel. I'm eager to find out more.
Some combination: I know the private school I've mentioned has a program that works in conjunction with homeschoolers. Also, I've heard of some cyber schools, where students work from home.

One of the reasons I began this blog was to discuss the big decisions in parenting. This issue was the one that drove me to start writing. As my family goes through the process of making this decision, I want to document the things I find and the research I complete. Maybe they can be a help to someone else with the same questions I have. But, mostly I hope they are a help to me as, at the end of this process, I look back over what I've learned and try to make the right decision for us.

This Sunday I am sitting down with a good family friend who is the oldest child in a family of, I believe, 6, homeschooled children. I am extremely eager to get her perspective, get some pointers on good resources, and ask lots of questions.

How a jellyfish changed how I parent

2011-06-21T21:24:00.005-05:00

Given the impact Jellytelly was having on my two boys - especially my Captain Silly Wiggles, I was thrilled when I learned about Jellyfish Lab's next project. The beloved puppet cast would be hosting a new DVD series called What's in the Bible? that would walk kids through the Bible from beginning to end. I already knew that the folks at Jellyfish had the ability to make the "drier" parts of Scripture accessible to children, so I anticipated a wonderful resource as this new project dug deeper into the books of the Bible. When our copy came in the mail, we stuck it in the DVD player as fast as possible. I loved it. I've seen lots of Christian Ed. resources, but I have never been so impressed as I am with the stuff currently coming from Jellyfish Labs. I knew it was going to be great for kids. I was surprised at how great it was for me! Watching WITB, I learned a ton and came away with a new hunger for reading Scripture. I couldn't wait to tell everyone I knew about this wonderful new tool.

The boys were a different story. They were pretty excited about the shiny new box with Buck Denver on the front, but the show didn't really hold their interest. They would wander in and out, stopping for a few minutes to watch and then moving on to play with a toy and coming back later to watch a little more. That was ok with me. Even if they didn't get anything from WITB yet, I was pretty sure it would come in very handy as they got older.

On with life.... Cap is what many would call a strong-willed child. He's a high energy, rough-and-tumble boy. He's a very logical thinker who doesn't do well with deviating from his idea of what is the right way to do things. He tends to get in trouble. A lot.

Last fall, my husband and I decided to enroll Cap in a nearby preschool program. Suffice it to say that he has not been the picture-perfect preschooler. It wasn't long before I could tell with a single glance at his teacher how the day had gone. If she made eye-contact with me when I walked in the door I knew he'd had a decent day. No eye-contact meant trouble. It wasn't very often that she looked me in the eye when I walked into the building.

Cap has been a tough kid to discipline. I've spent a lot of time around all kinds of kids. When I worked with kids I always enjoyed the kids that were "difficult". For any L.M. Montgomery fans, I enjoyed the Davies more than the Doras. Davies just need more help. Well, God knows best and he certainly gave me a little Davy: a horribly mischeivous, adorably sweet little boy. Most of his trouble came in the area of self-control: Why sit quietly and the table and do my work when I can make the other kids laugh? Why come when I'm called when I know the teacher will chase me if I run away from her? Why play neatly at home when it's so much more fun to dump the entire 2 lb. bag of rice on the floor and play in the mess? The difficulty with disciplining Cap is that he's fickle. Take away his favorite toy and he'll be distraught. Take it away the next time he's in trouble? He could care less. Take away all his toys? So what? For every discipline style we've used, Cap has pretty quickly met us with a "that's ok" attitude. He's not being defiant (usually). He just stops seeing the punishment as being a big deal.

In the midst of our struggle to guide our little Davy in the right direction, Cap actually came up with the answer to our problem. And with one little discussion, God used the Jellyfish to change the way I parent my boys.

At the time, going to the corner was the punishment of choice. It was a devastating blow that altered the course of bad behavior for the few months it was in use before Cap decided the corner was ok. On this particular day, time out was over and I came to sit by Cap and discuss the problem behavior with him. Before I could utter a word, Cap started the conversation:

A distraught little Captain Silly Wiggles: "Mommy, when I do what I want to do, choose myself over others and go my own way, that's called sin."
Flabbergasted Me: "You're right."
Cap: "Sin breaks my arrationship with God, because sin can't be near God."
Me: "That's true."
(Suddenly brightening up) Cap: "But it's ok because God has a rescue plan so we can be with him again!"

This conversation was a direct result, and almost a verbatim quotation, from What's in the Bible?. And everyday we were having the same conversation. Cap would get in trouble and he would initiate a heartfelt discussion about sin and how God saves us from our sin. When he made bad choices, we prayed together. When I shared this with his preschool teacher (a private Christian school) she decided to use the same methods in the classroom.

A lot of things changed with that little conversation in the corner. I learned that it's never too early to point our children to God. By giving them the opportunity to learn about God and the Bible in ways that speak to them, kids grow and flourish with the ability to think about God's place in all of the little aspects of their lives. They have the capacity to understand so much more of our story as God's people than we often give them credit for. From that day on I've been a lot more open with my kids about the meaning behind my decisions, letting them know that things I do with and for them are for the purpose of helping them grow into men that love God and love others. My motivations haven't changed, but our communication has changed drastically.

We now own all 5 of the What's in the Bible? DVDs that have been released to date. All of them are well loved by both of my boys. All of them have sparked discussions that I never would have imagined having with a preschooler. Everyday and all day long we are talking about what's in the Bible (and it's not me starting the conversations). Cap wants to know how God feels about this or that. He explains the nature of the trinity to little Skidamarink. He chats with his aunt about the dangers of apostasy and has a discussion on the life and times of Ishbosheth with the lady sitting behind us at church. He wants to know if grown-ups and people from the Bible have sinned and how they responded to their sin. He plays Captain Pete, spouting off important pirate terminology like Arrr, Shiver Me Timbers and Septuagint. He picks up his little guitar and sings songs about Deuteronomy and Leviticus for his friends.

He doesn't know this stuff because he's super smart or super spiritual. He knows this stuff because, through the creative works of What's in the Bible? and JellyTelly, the Bible has been made accessible to him. He has soaked up information about the story of God and his people. The things he has learned have shaped his thinking and given him a special lens through which to view the world. My little Cap is learning, as a 4 year-old, to look at the world from God's perspective. And that is certainly enough to make me gush about how much I love What's in the Bible?.

DVD 1 First 5 Minutes

Our Introduction to the Jellyfish

2011-06-16T08:41:00.002-05:00

I am a Christian who has always had a very big heart for kids. Before I had kids of my own, I taught Sunday School, worked in a church office, helped with youth ministries, directed VBS, and held a position as Director of Children's Ministries at our church. When I had my own kids it seemed obvious to me that my primary parenting motivation would be pointing my kids to God.

Before I met the Jellyfish, I had one son. Cap went to church when he was a week old and spent several days a week playing in my office at the church, playing in the nursery during programming, and worshipping with us on Sunday mornings. From the time he was born he heard that God loved him on a regular basis. He had three storybook Bibles and a cross hung on his wall. He loved it all and I thought things were going well. I knew that the most important thing I could teach my little guy was that God loved him. As a young child, Cap needed to know that church was a happy place to be where he was surrounded by people who loved God and loved him.

The tricky part of Christian parenting comes in the next stage. How do you point your children to God as they get older and capable of more comprehension? The hardest part of all seems to be introducing the Bible to kids. The storybook Bibles do a good job of highlighting some cute little stories from the Bible, but I'm not sure they always get it right. Sure, we can learn that God keeps his promises from the story of Noah. But is that what that story is all about? How do we teach children the Bible as a whole? The good book has some pretty messy parts. There's a lot of death and destruction. A lot of people making really bad choices. And there are those really tedious bits about genealogy and rules and specific instructions for building stuff. If I struggle with some of those things, how can I possibly share meaning from them with my child? I tend to think ahead. I didn't anticipate actually dealing with these aspects of the Bible for quite awhile with Cap. But, I figured by thinking ahead I would better know what to do when he was ready for more in-depth Bible reading.

Enter the Jellyfish. After watching VeggieTales with Cap and now newborn Skidamarink one day, I began to wonder what VT creator Phil Vischer was up to now-a-days. I knew that he was no longer running Big Idea Productions, the parent company of VeggieTales. So was he working on anything new? That's when I came across the Jellyfish. Jellyfish Labs - Phil's new company. I read a little on Phil's blog and found out about a project he was working on called JellyTelly. JellyTelly is a web-based mini-tv network for Christian kids. It looked interesting. I listened to Phil talk about why JellyTelly existed: to help kids who spent so much time surrounded by meaningless media know what they believed and why. Sounded great to me. Then I opened an episode. There was a puppet newsman who answered questions from kids: anything from silly to deeply theological. There was a puppet Sunday School teacher who taught about books of the Bible. There were puppet explorers who shared information about God's Amazing Animals and a puppet scientist who narrated old science films to share about God's wonderful creation. There was a puppet pastor who sang unknown hymns and defined big words. There was a puppet pirate that taught manners. Plus there were other, non-puppet programs: bands that played songs to teach kids about the Bible and faith, animated rocks that specialized in Scripture memorization, and more. I liked what I saw, but the content was definitely intended for an audience of older kids. My little toddler and newborn would be waiting awhile before they were old enough for JellyTelly. So I thought.

The next morning Cap, who had been sitting on my lap for my first perusal of JellyTelly, asked me if he could watch "computer Bible." In fact, he asked me if he could watch "computer Bible" every day. First thing in the morning he would climb out of bed and ask me to turn on JellyTelly. I let him watch whenever he wanted, but wasn't expecting him to be picking up much. Over the next few weeks I was amazed at the way the Bible was becoming real to him. He was learning things I didn't know until I was in high school. At barely two-years-old, he would pick up my Bible, flip through the pages, and name all of the books from Genesis to 2 Samuel. In order. What's the 10th book of the Bible? 2-year-old Cap could tell you! He knew that the book of Deuteronomy reminds us that "God gives you his best, give him your best, and you will be blessed." He would walk around the house singing God Rocks! songs that were really verses of scripture. Long verses of Scriptures. My 2 yo knew the 8 fruits of the Spirit. He could sing 1 Corinthians 13 for you. He was blowing me away, soaking up all the information on JellyTelly.

But, it was head knowledge . He memorized all of those things the same way he would eventually memorize colors and shapes and letters. (Yes, Cap knew the first 10 books of the Bible and what they were about before he could tell you if something was red or blue.) Still, I was excited about JellyTelly. Though Cap may just be memorizing information, I knew the things he had learned would be a doorway to some important conversations later on - much later on down the road. So I thought...

I think it was just before Cap turned 3 that we got our first What's in the Bible? DVD in the mail. WITB was the newest Jellyfish Labs project, aimed at teaching kids about the Bible as a big picture, with the help of our favorite puppets. Again, I figured it was way over Cap's head. Again I was proven wrong. JellyTelly had already influenced our life by introducing all kinds of new concepts to Cap. Now it was WITB's turn to shake things up.

Letter Ll

2011-06-06T13:09:00.001-05:00

Last week I shared some of what I learned about Cap from our first week of Raising Rock Stars. Here's some specifics on what we did.

Captain Silly Wiggles is currently 4 years old.

I guess before I jump in on what we learned this week, it makes sense to describe our structure. Right now we are set up for three days of preschool a week. For our first week, we worked on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday because we were busy on Monday. In the future I plan to aim for Monday, Wednesday and Friday, while being flexible in case we want to make other plans.

Each morning we started off with our board, going over the verse for the week, talking about how we can live out the meaning of the verse, singing a song, learning/reviewing our letter, number and sight word for the week. Then we read his sight word book.

Next, we moved on to workboxes. I currently have five boxes set up for Cap, but will probably add more soon - since he is currently wanting more activities than I have planned. Each box contains one activity. I fill the first two boxes with the weekly printables from 1+1+1=1. The third box is a letter activity (playdough letters, a craft, etc.). Box number four is miscellaneous. Right now I'm rotating between cutting practice, name writing and crafts). Box number five is something fun, yet educational. So far I've put in tag books and different card games and puzzles. Looking ahead at this box keeps Cap motivated to do some of the activities that really aren't his favorites.

Our learning this week was centered around Matthew 5:16:

Let your light shine before men

that they may see your good works

and glorify your Father in heaven.

Cap loves to memorize and recite things. He regularly repeats whole scenes of dialogs from his favorite movies and he genuinely loves reading and talking about the Bible, so he really enjoyed learning this verse and picked it up after hearing me say it three times. We sang the song, "This Little Light of Mine." Cap especially loved teaching the song to Skidamarink. Our letter for the week was Ll, our number was 1, and our sight word was "see". Cap had a great time with his sight word book "I See". I read it the first day and he has read it multiple times every day since - all by himself. He's so proud that he can read it that he has been sharing it with everyone he sees. The only trouble he's having with it is wanting to read the letters individually: "I S see..".

As I said in my last post, Cap has never really wanted much to do with writing or drawing. In an effort to motivate him, I tried giving him some different writing utensils: pens, dry-erase markers and regular markers. I told him to hold them with his pincher-pinchers (a suggestion from 1+1+1=1). He decided that his pinchers were spider pinchers and had a lot of fun with it. Switching often between his right and left hands, he dove into his work:

On Tuesday we...

1. ...did the Getting Ready for Ll worksheet

2. ...worked on vocabulary cards: He traced one Ll and didn't want to do more. So, we just said the words together, emphasizing the L sound and then he cut them out.

3. ...made a playdough L

4. ...worked on his cutting worksheet, but he really wasn't digging it. So, we put it aside to try again on Wednesday.

5. ...played Crazy 8s

On Wednesday we...

1. ...colored the verse: He's not usually a fan of coloring, so I wasn't sure how this would go. He did it though and more than the usual half-hearted single scribble. He was layering colors and having fun.

2. ...put some stickers on a letter L: a leftover from a recent activity he didn't want to do with his class this spring.

3. ...practiced writing some L's

4...I had planned to do some name-writing practice. But instead we finished the cutting worksheet that he didn't want to do the day before. He enjoyed it much more this time.

5... played Crazy Eights

On Thursday we...

1. ...traced our Ll verse page: He did the other two Ll worksheets with dry erase markers on a page protector. He didn't like the idea of doing this one without the plastic and got really upset when he made a mistake. I decided we could get rid of the mistake pretty easily. We got out the white out and covered up his little glitch. That little line of white out gave him so much confidence. He's such a perfectionist. He'll often tell me he can't do something - meaning, he can't do it perfectly, so he doesn't want to try. I loved the look on his face when he realized even if he didn't get it perfect, there was a way to fix his mistakes!

2. ...cut out the verse and taped it together: He really wanted to make a crown and was a little disappointed that it was too big for anyone's head.

3. ...did an L to L: We listed all of the people and things we could think of that started with the letter L then chose one person to give an L thing. This week he wanted to give his friend Levi a Larryboy toy. I'm really excited about this as a way to encourage generosity and thinking about others while emphasizing beginning sounds.

4. ...colored and put together the candle craft: This is the first time I have ever seen him want to color, let alone color a specific object while trying to stay in the lines. He colored for about half an hour, wanting to make sure every part was colored in. I cut out the pieces when he was done and he glued them onto the paper. When I put this one in his binder at the end of the week, he quickly informed me that it has to stay out so he can share it with everyone. He was so proud of this one!

5. ...finally, we filled out his certificate and put all of his hard work in a binder. The goal of the binder was to have it all in one place so we could look back over it and review. Cap's favorite aspect of the binder is ease of transport so he can share what he's learned with his family and friends.

It was a great week! I was blown away with how eager Cap was to learn this week and how willing he was to try new things. Starting the mornings off this way set a precedent for the rest of the day, too. He wanted to keep learning, which meant lots and lots of reading time and playing games (and less time for momma to wash dishes and clean house). Things looked a little hectic in our house last week, but we were having a great time together! I was very willing to trade cleaning time for quality time with my kiddos. Our board for our letter Tt week is all put together, Cap and Skidamarink are both excited about what's coming up and I'm eager to see if this week goes anywhere near as well as last week. I think it's gonna be good!

All of our printables this week came were developed by Carisa at 1+1+1=1. Visit her website for all kids of wonderful resources. You can find her letter Ll printables here: Ll.

The cutting workbook we used is called I Can Cut by School Specialty Publishing.

Teaching Cap

2011-06-04T06:48:00.004-05:00

Last fall I enrolled Cap in the pre-k program at a Christian school near our house. My primary motivator for sending him to school was so that he could spend more time with kids his own age and start getting accustomed to a more rigid routine. Suffice it to say that he had a really rough year. More often than not, at the end of each day I would get a bad report. He wasn't participating, wouldn't follow directions, and liked to distract his peers. Late in the year he seemed to settle in. He still wasn't participating much, but generally followed directions and didn't cause too many disruptions. We decided to re-enroll him for next year, probably much to the pre-k 4 teacher's chagrin. ;)

In hopes of making the fall back-to-school transition easier, I decided to do some "school" work with him over the summer. We just finished our first week. I stumbled across some amazing resources through Totally Tots and 1+1+1=1. Feeling pretty empowered, especially by the material on 1+1+1=1, I decided to dive in. After a week of getting organized, Cap and I started the Raising Rock Stars Preschool Program. While I loved the materials, I was super skeptical that it would work for us. I had tried sitting down with Cap and teaching him certain things before, but he had always fought me on it. This time was a huge success. I'll post a little later on exactly what we did in our first week, but right now I want to focus on a few things that I learned about teaching my son this week.

It's hard for Cap to sit still for long periods of time. While family members have expressed concern that he may have AD/HD, I have seen a real ability to focus on a particular task for a very long amount of time. Even if it's not something he wants to do, he has a very long attention span. I think the multiple intelligences people would call this kinesthetic intelligence. The trouble is that he wants to move. He doesn't enjoy sitting in a chair at a table for long. While this is a problem at school, it really isn't an issue at home. We did our school work on the floor. He loved it! His patience grew exponentially when his body was free to move while his mind focused on completing a task, project or worksheet.

Apparently, Cap is pretty ambidextrous. His right hand has long been predominant, but he has very good left-hand fine motor skills as well. When we started out, he kept wanting to hold his pencil and scisisors in his left hand. I corrected him a few times and told him to switch hands. After fighting it for a few minutes, I decided to just let him use his left hand. I found out that he was actually more confident using his left hand and had better control. It seems crazy to me because he certainly favors his right hand . But he seems to be very happy switching between left and right for writing, drawing and cutting. When I shared this discovery, Daddy (a drummer) got pretty excited. Apparently ambidexterity comes in very handy for drummers. I may be in for a very noisy household!

Cap thrives on integrated learning. The RRSP materials we used are centered around a Bible verse. Cap is very interested in the Bible. It is not unusual for him to spend an entire day pretending to be King David, asking questions about God, and sharing his knowledge with others. As we wrote L's this week, we were talking about our verse. As we played with play dough, practiced cutting, colored pictures we also talked about letting our light shine (Matthew 5:16).

One-on-One time was really important. Going along with the integrated materials, it was really helpful for him that as we did our work we were talking together. He had my attention. What would have bored him before was engaging now partly because he had someone to discuss it with. This didn't really surprise me since one of the primary reasons he got in trouble at school was for attention-seeking. (He's a little comedian when he can get the spotlight.)

We used a workbox format. I decided to try workboxes because I thought they would help me stay organized. Cap loved them! I think it was helpful for him to see each activity as a distinct project instead of an endless string of work. He could see exactly how much work he had to do and, since our boxes are clear, was motivated to do the less appealing activities because he could see things he wanted to do in the next boxes.

I couldn't be happier with how our first week went. Cap had several achievements this week. While before I've struggled to get him to even hold a pencil or crayon, let alone write or draw, he was all over it this week. He gladly traced worksheets full of L's and colored in the lines rather than griping while randomly scribbling all over the page. He read his sight words book all by himself. He learned the verse of the week quickly and has kept it with him, measuring his choices and others by whether or not they allow God's light to shine. We'll see how next week goes. But for now, I'm amazed!

My Letter to My Kids Part 9

2011-06-02T13:23:00.001-05:00

Continued...

So, back to the original question, what do I most want to tell my kids in my letter to them? I think it’s something like this:

Dear B, Dear J,

I cannot begin to describe just how much you mean to me. I love you more than I will ever be able to tell you. You have brought me so much joy and I am so glad that I get to be your mommy.

There are so many things I want for you, but mostly what I want is for you to be truly happy. You were created by the one and only God. He knows everything about you. He sees the best in you and the worst in you. He loves you more than any person will ever love you and he wants you to love him too. My great hope for your lives in that you will follow that God. Let him destroy the worst parts of you until you become the best versions of yourselves. The road will be long, difficult and painful, but the joy and peace you find will overwhelm you and make even the hardest parts of life beautiful.

I hope that you remember that there is no problem too big or too small for God to handle. When life is too much and your problems surround you, give them all to God. And never forget that every good thing comes from God. Give thanks to him for all of it. Remember that every human being is God’s beloved creation and treat them with love and respect.

I know that as you grow you and I will have our share of disagreements. And we’ll each make mistakes that hurt each other. For the mistakes that you make I will do my best to offer you love and forgiveness. Know that when I punish you I am trying to do all I can to help you on the road to becoming who you are created to be. And when the mistake is mine, I hope you remember that I never claim to be perfect and that I need love and forgiveness too.

Stay close to God, never stop praying, and take the Bible for the wonderful gift it is. And above all else, know that no matter what happens, God loves you. When it seems like you are so bad that no one could love you, God loves you. When you are disappointed in yourself and the choices you’ve made, God loves you. When it seems like everything goes wrong for you and life is just too hard, God loves you. Let his love carry you through the worst times and into the great things I know he has in store for you.

Love,

Your Mom

My Letter to My Kids Part 8

2011-06-02T13:20:00.004-05:00

Continued...

Our lives must be rooted in prayer. Do our kids ever see us pray? Are we teaching them that prayer is a few hurried words spoken at bedtime and dinner? Do they know that God hears their prayers at 10:05 when they feel unprepared for their math test and at 2:00 when their friend is mad at them? Do we teach them not only to talk to God about their fears and failures but also their victories and joys? Do we pray for them and do they know it?

When B spent most of the school year getting in trouble and refusing to participate, my first response was to discover the problem and fix it, my second response was to punish. We went through lots of really creative discipline before I realized the first and most important thing I needed to do was pray with and for him. Our God, who keeps all of his promises, has promised us that if we ask him for what we need, he will give it to us. Prayer needs to be our first response in life, not our last effort.

All in all, we have to take Moses’ words to heart. We remember and proclaim with him that the Lord is our God. The Lord alone! We will not serve anyone or anything else. We love God with all of our being and acknowledge that our love for God is the most important thing about us. And we do everything we can to make sure we never forget to put God above everything else and to love him completely. We make sure our kids know what we believe and why, we never stop talking about the great love our God has shown us and we surround ourselves with reminders of that love.

As parents, it’s easy to get drawn into the idea that we have to prepare our kids for life as adults. We worry about them not doing well in school, being involved in too many or too few extra-curricular activities, having too few good friends. What will become of them? It’s easy to fret over how the decisions we make now will affect their futures. But it is absolutely vital that we realize that our most important role is preparing our children to make the most important decision of their lives: to follow Jesus or to deny him. Our children’s happiness doesn’t hinge on our far-flung dreams for them. All of us here know that our kids can be happy without being doctors or lawyers or professional athletes. They can be happy even if money isn’t always easy to come by and people disappoint them. But their happiness is absolutely dependent on the choice they make for or against God and the effect that choice will have on the rest of their eternal lives. Living our lives in such a way that we bring glory to God is unequivocally the very best thing we can ever do for our kids.

The same thing hold true for us as a congregation. We have a responsibility to point everyone we come into contact with to God. We have to talk openly and honestly about the great things our God has done for us. And we have to make sure that everyone of us knows what we believe and why we believe it.

In all of our lives let us remember Jesus’ promise to us that if we seek first the things of God, if we make following him the most important thing we do, he will supply all of our needs abundantly.

To Be Continued...

My Letter to My Kids Part 7

2011-06-02T13:17:00.003-05:00

Continued...

We need more, though. If we are going to share our faith with our kids we have to remember the bigger picture. Each of us gathered here make up one part of a story that began when God created light and will continue for eternity. We can’t just tell them about our experiences, we have to tell them the whole story of God’s people. Hopefully we would all agree that the Bible is the most important book ever written. We talk in church about reading our Bible and praying every day. An old Sunday-School song reminds us that if we do we will grow, grow, grow. But, ignore our Bibles, forget to pray and we’ll shrink, shrink, shrink. We desperately need the Bible. Bibles are pretty good and sitting on our shelves and collecting dust. But opening them changes everything. The Bible tells us who we are, who we have been and who we will be. It’s so much more than a book full of words. “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thought and attitudes of the heart.” None of life can really make sense without the Bible – the story of God’s people. We need to know that story, because it is our story. We need to hear God’s promises to us and hear daily what God requires of us. Without the Bible, we run the major risk of living an empty faith. Without the Bible we forget exactly who Jesus was, what he did for us and what he wants from us and for us.

To Be Continued...

My Letter to My Kids Part 6

2011-06-02T13:15:00.001-05:00

Continued...

In our society today there are two things you are never supposed to talk about in polite conversation – religion and politics. We’ve been told so many times that talking about our faith is taboo that it’s often difficult for us to honestly share what God is doing in our lives even in the safety of our home and our church. And yet, we have to talk about it. The reason for those scary numbers of young people walking away from the church is that they don’t really know what they believe or why they believe it. They graduate, leave home, encounter people who challenge their faith, and everything they have ever believed is taken out with one blow. We need to make sure our kids know exactly what we stand for and why. We must make sure that this body of believers provides fertile ground for the seeds of faith God plants in us and in our children to grow strong with deep roots that aren’t blown away in a breeze. But it is overwhelming to think about really teaching all that we believe. The author of one of my husband's seminary textbooks suggests a good starting place. David deSilva writes:

A grateful heart is the source of evangelism and witness, which is perhaps most efficiently done as we simply and honestly give God public praise for the gifts and help we have received from God. Perhaps some shrink from evangelism because they think they need to work the hearer through Romans…Begin by speaking openly, rather, about the favor God has shown you, the positive difference God’s gifts have made in your life: tell other people facing great need about the One who supplies every need generously (143)

Our faith is not primarily taught in a pew on Sunday morning or even in a Sunday School classroom. The lessons I learned about God as a child were taught in informal conversations while going for drives with my Grandpa, watching my Grandma work hard to give gifts to those in need and witnessing my grandparents smile and reassure the people that gathered for their loved-ones funerals, telling them how excited they were that the person they loved was with Jesus. Moments like these speak volumes to our kids.

To Be Continued...

My Letter to My Kids Part 5

2011-06-02T13:13:00.001-05:00

Continued...

The first part in fulfilling my responsibility of teaching my kids the way is looking at my own life. What am I teaching them through my words, behaviors and actions? If I have really chosen Jesus as my Lord, my master, does my life show it? Do I live as though I trust God to fulfill all of my needs or do I live as though it’s up to me to take care of myself? Do I make my decisions based on what others will think of me or do I make my decisions with the goal of pleasing God alone? Do I live as though God is just God on Sunday mornings, or do I live a life that displays that he is my God every second of every day? Do I carry the burdens of the world on my shoulders, as though without me no one could function, or do I live my life on my knees asking God to take control?

A lot of times my own answer to these questions is not what I would hope, which begs another question…Do I look for excuses for all of my shortcomings, holding onto the pretense that I’ve got it all under control, or do I humbly admit that I am a flawed and sinful person in need of the grace and forgiveness of God and people and that it is only the blood of Christ that enables me to hold my head up at all? The choice we make on Monday when the mortgage is due and we’re not sure we can make the payment; on Tuesday when no one does their chores at home; on Wednesday when a co-worker makes us angry; on Thursday when everything goes our way; on Friday when we feel like no one really cares about us; on Saturday when we have way too much to do; on Sunday when we do not want to get up and go to church - those decisions will teach our children something and we are responsible for what we teach them. As followers of Christ, we have discovered that life is nothing without Jesus. We must live every day of our lives in a way that makes our dependence on him very evident. We need to make the words from Psalm 19 our prayer for every moment of our lives: “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, Lord.” May every single word we say and every single thought we think please our God.

To Be Continued...

My Letter to My Kids Part 4

2011-06-02T13:11:00.001-05:00

Continued...

Still looking at those numbers, it’s pretty easy to keep the conversation impersonal – to keep the focus off of me. It’s not my fault all those kids are walking away. The church is doing something wrong. We could talk about how we make up the church together and so the problem is ours too. But, it doesn’t really hit home for me until I realize that I am responsible to God for the things I teach my boys. At some point in their lives they will make their own choice for or against God. As much as I may want to, I cannot make their choice for them. But I can uphold the vows I took when my boys’ were baptized: I can “nurture them in Christ’s holy church that by my teaching and example they may be guided to accept God’s grace for themselves, to profess their faith openly, and to lead a Christian life.” And as a member of Christ’s body I can uphold the vows I took at the baptism of every other child I have had a part in: “to proclaim the good news and live according to the example of Christ. I can surround these children in a community of love and forgiveness, that they may grow in their service to others. I can pray for them that they may be true disciples who walk in the way that leads to life.” For all of these children I can do all in my power to “increase their faith, confirm their hope, and perfect them in love.”

I am responsible to God for the things I teach my children and together we are responsible for the things we teach our children. It doesn’t matter how the lesson is taught, often what we do is so much more powerful that what we say. Around the time J was born, life was sort of hectic for me. I had a two-year-old in the midst of potty training, a newborn baby that needed round-the-clock care, and a husband who was working long hours far from home. It was a really difficult time. I was juggling all of my own work, trying to do all the things my husband normally took care of at home, and working harder than ever to make sure that the few hours he spent at home were peaceful and fulfilling for all of us. That time was frustrating and exhausting. I didn’t realize the power of what I was teaching to my kids during that time until B started imitating me. When he was faced with something unpleasant, he would respond with the same attitude I displayed in similar situations. If he had to do something he didn’t want to do, he would let out a groan of anger and despair. When one of his toys wouldn’t cooperate, he would throw his hands in the air and cry out, “I can’t do this!” Watching him follow my bad example was really humbling.

To be continued...

My Letter to My Kids Part 3

2011-06-02T13:08:00.001-05:00

This is part of a sermon I recently gave...

I can hear the passion in Moses’ voice as he speaks to the Israelites, preparing them to enter the promised land:

Hear, O Israel: The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. You shall love the LORD your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your might. Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

And there it is: the one absolute truth we can give our kids to hold on to. When all around our soul gives way, when we don’t have our health, when our finances are a mess, when we feel like there is not a soul on earth who loves us, when all the ground of life is sinking sand, we have a solid rock to stand upon: God and only God is in control. At the end of the day we can confidently encourage our kids to follow that dangerous man named Jesus, because we know that even though it may be the most difficult and painful journey they could choose, it is the only one that can ever fulfill them, the only choice that will ever give them true happiness. As Christians, we have the best gift possible to share with the children in our midst. We have that ever-elusive secret of life. My favorite wording of that great secret is the paraphrasing of John 3:16 by Aaron Tate of the band Caedmon’s Call: “For you so loved the unlovable that you gave the ineffable, that whoso believes the unbelievable will gain the unattainable.” We have the great news that God loved us so much that he made us to be with us and gave us every good thing we would ever need. That even when we turned our backs on him and decided to do things our own way, he loved us. He loved us so much that he sent his son to us - knowing that we would reject him, mock him, kill him. That even in that worst of all moments, his love for us was so strong that he fought for us, defeating the one thing that scares us most – death – and making the path clear for us to live forever with him as he always meant for us. As Christians, we know the one thing that really makes this life worth living – not just that we have an eternity to spend with our God, but that our eternal lives have already begun. Jesus walks with us here and now, bringing beauty from ashes, strength from fear, gladness from mourning, and peace from despair.

This is the wonderful gift we have to pass on to our kids, but as the church it is so easy to despair. 65% of kids are dropping out of the church as soon as they graduate from high school and studies show that people of my generation aren’t coming back to church when we start families as many of our predecessors did. Our culture is becoming less and less Christian and, alarmingly, more and more anti-Christian. At first glance, these statistics scare us because we, the Church, need our kids. They are our future, right? One day they will have to step up and fill our committees and manage our finances. It will eventually be their job to run the business of the church.

But if we look deeper we see that the church was not created to be a business. There may be business-like things to accomplish, but I have a feeling they mostly all fall under the category of things Jesus tells us not to worry about. And while the church wasn’t created for the business of being in business, we also don’t exist for the simple cause of passing on traditions, a community framework or even a building. God has much bigger things in store for us. And if we aren’t careful we come dangerously close to saying that the great tragedy of the church’s 65% dropout rate is that our pews are looking empty. When the real heart-breaking issue is that 65% of American high school graduates are walking away from one of the most important and sacred gifts God have given us – the body of Christ and the even greater tragedy is that many of them are walking away from faith in Jesus altogether.

To be continued...

My Letter to My Kids Part 2

2011-06-02T13:04:00.001-05:00

This is part 2 of a sermon I gave recently...

It’s a pretty big risk as a parent to raise our kids to be Christ-followers. It runs counter to our instinct of protecting our children. If we’re honest, reading the New Testament can be a pretty big shock. Jesus and the epistle writers make some pretty challenging statements about what following God will mean for us. One of the biggest challenges is our gospel reading today. (Matthew 6:24-34) As adults, we have to be the responsible ones. We make sure everyone else eats and has the material things they need. Not only that, but we do our very best to make sure our kids are ready to take over those responsibilities for themselves. Sometimes all of parenting can feel like it’s preparation for the day when our kids will feed and clothe themselves. And secretly we worry that they won’t be able to.

In the face of all that hustle and bustle, responsibility and worry, Jesus tells us to stop. It’s really counter-intuitive: You just focus on God and he’ll take care of the rest. And instead of just politely saying he plans to take care of us, he calls us out: either you are devoted to me and money is nothing to you, or you are devoted to money and I am nothing to you. You can choose what you pursue, but you have to make a choice. You can’t serve us both.

And in God’s typical “foolish wisdom” it really makes sense, because while I don’t want my kids to ever want for anything. I know that if I send my kids in pursuit of a financially independent lifestyle chances are that no amount of money will ever satisfy them. They will always need more. Money never makes anyone happy. And if I’m honest, those other dreams I have for my boys don’t really fulfill the goal of happiness either. No matter how much education they receive, their knowledge alone can’t give them true happiness and there will be times when the people who love them the most let them down or cause them pain. And now the picture is looking pretty grim. What meaningful life advice can I give them?

To be continued...

My Letter to My Kids Part 1

2011-06-02T09:27:00.002-05:00

This series of posts comes from a sermon I recently gave in my church. It's a little lengthy, so I'll split it up. :)

As a parent, I happen to think my kids are pretty great. I could talk about them for days and tell all kinds of stories that I think are wonderful, cute and funny. I am fully aware that those stories are never as wonderful, cute and funny to other people as they are to me. Maybe some of them aren’t wonderful, cute or funny to other people. But still, as a parent, I love to talk about my kids. They occupy a lot of my thought. Beyond that I’ve always been a kid person. For most of my life I’ve thought about things through the lens of how they affect kids. A big part of the call God has placed on my life is to serve children. So, as I talk about my kids and my experience as a parent. I want to make it clear that I’m not just talking to parents of young children. Each of us has kids in our lives. If we don’t have young kids we are responsible for, we have grandkids, nieces, nephews, neighbors, and friends, including, but not limited to the kids that are a part of our church family. So as I talk about my experience with my kids, I would ask all of you to think about the kids in your life, no matter what your relationship to them is.

In my boys’ baby books there are pages for a letter from Mommy and Daddy. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I hate to leave blanks. But I still haven’t written a single word on that page in either of my boys' baby books.

That page is such a challenge for me. How do I sum up all that I want for my children and all that I want to tell them into the few sentences that will fit onto an 8 ½ x 11 sheet of paper? What are the most important things I can tell them? What do I want most for my kids?

It’s not a difficult question to answer. Each of us wants the kids in our lives, whether they be our kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, or friends to be happy. As much as possible we want to protect them from heartache and pain. Most of us have some dreams that go along with our concern for their happiness. Before they are born we have our own plans for them. We expect our kids to be great. We dream of star students, great athletes and talented musicians. We want our kids to grow up to become well-adjusted adults with high-paying, prestigious professions. Of course, when the time is right, they will fall in love with the perfect person and give us the perfect grandkids and we will all live happily-ever-after. Sure, we know when we start our dreaming that there will be some bumps along the way. But we want their paths through life to be as easy and guarded as possible.

I could fill my boys’ pages with my aspirations for their lives and advice on how to fulfill them. After all, there’s nothing altogether wrong with my (admittedly far-fetched) dream that my boys will eventually earn full-ride scholarships to the school of their choice (not too far away, of course) and after earning their degrees (one in biology and the other in physics) my oldest will go on to play baseball for the St. Louis Cardinals and my youngest will become a Green Bay Packer. Along the way they will have easy lives, free of financial woes and surrounded by people who love them. And of course I get at least 10 grandkids out of the deal.

But still, those hopes of mine can’t be the words I choose for their letters. If I boil it down, what I’m really wishing in that scenario is that they have easy lives. But I know that easy can be a very far cry from fulfilling. And I’ve learned through my own experience and the stories of others that if I’m looking for an easy path for my kids I’d be better off finding something else for them to do on Sunday morning and keeping them as far away from Jesus as I can. He tells us up front that following him is not easy. In fact, it’s incredibly difficult.

William Willimon is a former dean of the chapel at Duke University. Many of us have probably heard his story about the conversation he had with a very upset parent. The father of one of his students had just found out that his daughter, a BS in mechanical engineering who he planned to send to graduate school, had decided to become a missionary in

Haiti

. The father was irate that she was going to “throw it all away,” saying to Willimon, “You are completely irresponsible to have encouraged her to do this. I hold you personally responsible.” Willimon pointed out to the father that if he wanted to know who was really responsible for his daughter’s decision, he should look in the mirror. He and his wife made the decision to have her baptized, they took her to church and Sunday School and they prayed for her. Willimon said “You are the ones who introduced her to Jesus, not me.”

To be continued...

Decisions, Decisions...

2011-05-26T13:18:00.001-05:00

Being a parent is tough. I think it's all the decisions. The decisions and the responsiblity for those decisions. I am in charge of everything from when my kids move from a bottle to a sippy cup to where they go to school, to teaching them how to handle things that don't go their way. It's tough. And surprisingly, it's the seemingly little things that can be the hardest. Sometimes that's because I overthink things, but sometimes those little choices have great big consequences. As a parent, I've got lots and lots of decisions to make and, with little ones at home, I know that every decision I make will affect them and everything I do will teach them something. This blog is a place for me to think, to problem solve and to make decisions as I try my best to take care of the little living epistles God has given to my care.