Peace
The kind that Jesus talks about. The don't worry about anything - God will take care of it kind of peace. It seems to me that it's pretty hard to live a peaceful existence in the world today. If we take an honest look at our society peace doesn't rule. Stress does. Lots and lots of stress springing, I think, from two sources: hurry and worry.
There's no doubt that we are in a hurry. Our schedules fill up and the places we live become more like hotels than homes. We fill up our time with all sorts of things - most of them good things - until we are frazzled and empty with no time to rest or reflect. I do it. But I don't want my kids to do it. I don't want them to grow up thinking their time isn't well spent unless it's fast-paced and full of accomplishment. I want them to take plenty of time to grow and learn and experience life. I want them to have time to be still and hear the voice of God. It breaks my heart to think about how busy the lives of so many little ones are. They are constantly running. It seems nonsensical that many kids have more hectic schedules than adults, but I'm pretty sure it's true. They go to school and do homework and learn instruments and go to church and sunday school and midweek programs and play sports. And all of those things are good. Yet they all add up, leaving very little time to just... be. I want my kids to learn instruments and go to church and sunday school and midweek programs and play sports. I want them to grow and learn and thrive. But how do I reconcile the experiences I want for my kids and the peaceful non-hurried life that is so important? I'm not sure, but I know that it's important to figure it out. And I think maybe homeschooling is one way to make it work.
What if my kids were done with "school" before lunch? What if they had all afternoon and all evening for pick up games and sports leagues and church stuff and practicing piano and playing drums? Would that give them time to just play with their friends in the backyard? Would that give them time to develop a talent or gift they otherwise might never pay attention to? Would that give them time to sit and think and grow in relationship with God and with their neighbors? I think it might. And, honestly that's one of the biggest reasons I want to homeschool. I know hurry is always going to be a struggle. But it seems to me that going to school for 7 or 8 hours a day for 15 years is a pretty big expenditure of time. Especially when all of that material can be learned in an astonishingly small fraction of the time at home. I don't want my kids to grow up and discover that they never had time to just be kids. I don't want them to learn the habit of excessive hurry.
It strikes me that peace is one of the most vital aspects of life as a Christian. Being a Christian means trusting God through Christ. If I put my trust in God I won't worry. Any time worry enters my life it is a sign that there is a part of me that I have not fully surrendered to my Lord. Believe me, it's my biggest struggle. I am a big worrier. It's the reason I cringe when someone calls me "a person of great faith." Faith is hard for me. I'm no good at trusting God. Thankfully, God has grace enough to cover my sinful worry!
It's a common misconception among adults that kids don't worry nearly as much as adults do. Somehow as adults we forget the agony we experience as kids. We look back and the concerns of childhood seem trivial. I think it's all a matter of perspective. I fully believe that separation anxiety is just as big of a stressor for an infant or toddler as the stack of bills and skimpy bank account is for an adult. Sure, the child has no good reason to believe that their parent won't return. But the child doesn't know that. Their crisis shakes them to the core, leaving them unsure of the future in much the same way that the crises of adulthood rattle us.
I'm a little afraid that the ruling educational theory plays up worry. The prevailing idea seems to be that the goal of education is to create successful adults. I think there is some truth in that idea, but the question is, "what is the measure of success?" So often, even despite the best of intentions, it becomes a matter of comparison for the kids. They think, "I'm not successful until I'm better than so-and-so." Worry abounds when one child wonders ,what if I'm not any good? What if I'm dumb? What if I can't do at x, y or z? What if I'm ugly? What if I just don't understand this? What if I fail?
Maybe I'm wrong about all of that. I certainly expect that my kids will have their share of worries no matter where they learn. But I wonder if home wouldn't be a less worry-filled place to learn - a place where we don't have to worry about a learning curve but can discover together at the pace that is best for us? A place where failing a test or wearing the wrong style of clothing or being a clutz won't bring paralyzing shame.
I want my kids to experience peace in a profound way. I don't want them to spend their childhoods having their heads crammed full of knowledge and accomplishment that they don't have time for peace. It absolutely amazes me how many kindergarteners I have heard of this fall that have homework. And not the kind of homework where you find something blue to share with the class. The kind of homework where you write out spelling lists 5 times and complete a page of addition facts. In Kindergarten. That blows my mind. And that on top of a full day school and traveling to dance class and soccer practice and everything else that goes on in the lives of little ones today.
It's hard enough for me to live a life of peace. I do not want it to be a struggle for my children. I do not want them to spend their childhood's frazzled about all of the things they have to do. I want them to have time to be kids and that's a big reason I think homeschooling may be right for us.
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