"'And you've quite given [writing] up?' asked Christine.
'Not altogether...but I'm writing living epistles now,' said Anne, thinking of Jem and Co."
- Anne of Ingleside, L.M. Montgomery


6.02.2011

My Letter to My Kids Part 4

Continued...


Still looking at those numbers, it’s pretty easy to keep the conversation impersonal – to keep the focus off of me. It’s not my fault all those kids are walking away. The church is doing something wrong. We could talk about how we make up the church together and so the problem is ours too. But, it doesn’t really hit home for me until I realize that I am responsible to God for the things I teach my boys. At some point in their lives they will make their own choice for or against God. As much as I may want to, I cannot make their choice for them. But I can uphold the vows I took when my boys’ were baptized: I can “nurture them in Christ’s holy church that by my teaching and example they may be guided to accept God’s grace for themselves, to profess their faith openly, and to lead a Christian life.” And as a member of Christ’s body I can uphold the vows I took at the baptism of every other child I have had a part in: “to proclaim the good news and live according to the example of Christ. I can surround these children in a community of love and forgiveness, that they may grow in their service to others. I can pray for them that they may be true disciples who walk in the way that leads to life.” For all of these children I can do all in my power to “increase their faith, confirm their hope, and perfect them in love.”
          I am responsible to God for the things I teach my children and together we are responsible for the things we teach our children. It doesn’t matter how the lesson is taught, often what we do is so much more powerful that what we say. Around the time J was born, life was sort of hectic for me. I had a two-year-old in the midst of potty training, a newborn baby that needed round-the-clock care, and a husband who was working long hours far from home. It was a really difficult time. I was juggling all of my own work, trying to do all the things my husband normally took care of at home, and working harder than ever to make sure that the few hours he spent at home were peaceful and fulfilling for all of us. That time was frustrating and exhausting. I didn’t realize the power of what I was teaching to my kids during that time until B started imitating me. When he was faced with something unpleasant, he would respond with the same attitude I displayed in similar situations. If he had to do something he didn’t want to do, he would let out a groan of anger and despair. When one of his toys wouldn’t cooperate, he would throw his hands in the air and cry out, “I can’t do this!” Watching him follow my bad example was really humbling.


To be continued...

No comments:

Post a Comment