Big Questions & Another Reason

The fears set in for him so young.  Tears in his voice, he asks us, "What if our Skidamarink gets very, very sick?  What if he can't get better? What if he gets so hurt he can't be fixed and we lose him?  I would be so sad if I lost my brother."  He's concerned about the hole in the basement where the sump pump sits.  Skid might fall in it.  "You can fix it, Dad.  So Skid and our baby don't get hurt." 

He follows up his worries with the hope:  "If Skid couldn't get better he would go to heaven and Jesus would give him a new body.  But I would miss him."

My momma says he gets it from me - the always thinking serious thoughts.  He and I were both old before our time.  "You were 18 when you were 2," she tells me.  Little child with grown-up questions.

Grandpa speaks words that feel like prophecy.  He talks about our sweet little boy and his big questions, big faith, big understanding.  He says he's special.  He can see that God has big plans for our Cap.  He is different.  Grandpa says there is a reason our little guy is in such a hurry to grow up.  He says this boy needs to grow up fast.  Grandpa can't tell us why, but he feels this burden to tell us that there is a reason our little man will need such big faith.  He exhorts us to tend this plant carefully so his roots will grow deep.  He'll need deep, deep roots.

My mother's heart worries.  Why will he need deep roots?  Grandpa can't see it, but he feels there is something coming and I'm absolutely terrified of the storms that might be on the horizon.  I want deep roots for him, but I would prefer him to be safe - to have a hold on the anchor but never face a storm that requires its use.

It's been a year since Grandpa called us to him, sat us down and spoke those words.  I can't ignore them.  They make me wonder, what do I need to give a boy like this?  A boy with such big questions, such big fears, such big understanding?  Is it a gift of time?  Extra time to sit and grapple with the questions and the fears?  Extra time to play so he can stay young and have rest and enjoy life without fears and questions always pulling?  Extra time to take chances and be bold and strong and courageous so that he doesn't let the fears overwhelm?  Extra time to ask questions of us and of God? 

It's so clear that growing those roots is his most important work right now and I need to give him all the time he needs to grow them.